Grand Hu$tle - Michelle Obama's (Clearly!) Staged Target Shopping Trip.

Look, no need to lie. I think I'm just preconditioned to look at everything related to politricks with my 3rd eye. I simply can't help myself. So when this story was all over the news and Black Folks Twitter last night, I wondered if there was a bit more to this story than met the eye.

AP photographer Charles Dharapak told CBS News he took pictures of the first lady at the Target on Route 1 in Alexandria, Virginia. The first lady's office confirmed that the pictures showed Mrs. Obama, though it did not immediately respond when asked if it tipped off Dharapak.

In the photographs, the first lady is wearing a Nike baseball cap, sunglasses and a floral-print button-down shirt with a neon v-neck underlay. She is seen holding a pair of Target bags and pushing a shopping cart. You can see the two full-length photos below.

The pictures contrasts significantly with one taken two days ago by Dharapak showing the first lady at the White House in a sleek blue pencil skirt, high heels and a ruffled blouse.

The AP reported that Secret Service agents, dressed casually, arrived at the store 30 minutes before the first lady, who shopped with an assistant. She reportedly spent 30-40 minutes shopping and was only recognized by her cashier.

The first lady was seen wearing a dress from Target, which sells relatively low-cost clothing, in Phoenix in August 2009. She has also been seen wearing clothes from J. Crew and The Gap.

In the 2008 presidential campaign, Mrs. Obama proudly proclaimed herself "more of a Target shopper," saying she preferred the store to Wal-Mart.

Okay, I know I'm gonna piss quite a few of ya'll off, but I'm callin' bullsh*t on this one. You mean to tell me an AP photographer justsohappened to be in Target, with his $4,500 camera in tow? And nobody in that whole store noticed the Presidential caravan pull up? Come on, really?

Look, I get it. The White House is taking a beating in the press for being out of touch and spending money like water in these times of economic uncertainty. Michelle-O herself has been (unfairly) criticized for wearing expensive sneakers and (somewhat fairly) taking expensive foreign vacations when Real Americans are barely getting by. Showing her at a local Target store (why she ain't go to the one in Columbia Heights though? It's only 5 mins from the WH?) looking for school supplies shows us she's "just like the rest of us", even though in reality, she's absolutely nothing like the rest of us.

I know a Grand Hu$tle when I see one, folks. I invented the term.[1] This was a staged photo-op. It's really no different than the Hollywood practice of having your publicist call paparazzi in advance, then feigning surprise (and disgust) when people start taking photos of you when you just wanna buy a freakin' Mochachino like "the regular people". I'm guessing she'll pop up at Ruff -N- Ready next, huh?

Sorry, I don't buy this one. I love me some Michelle, but I don't love this poorly disguised attempt to "relate to regular Americans in this time of struggle".

Grand Hu$tle, folks.

Question: Was this a staged photo-op, or does the First Lady really get her Tar-Jay on like the rest of us? What's your spot... Target, Wally Word, or (God forbid) K-Mart?

[1] T.I. lost all rights to this phrase with his 7th incarceration. Sorry, Tip.

What's On Your iPod?!?

Tuesday was a great day for hip-hop lovers and the state of NC, as J. Cole, Phonte, and 9th Wonder all dropped commercial releases. I bought all three (yes, with actual money. I went to iTunes, not HulkShare Records!), and can confidently say all three are good music. Cole is predicted to move about 250k units, so I guess all the haters/stans can shut up now. I've also been on a throwback funk/70's tip lately. TS Monk, Roy Ayers, and Con Funk Shun have been in heavy rotation. And yeah, since I gotta listen to some ignant sh*t while I run/ do yardwork/write code, I've been listening to a lot (and I do mean a lot) of Juicy J[1], Lil' Boosie[2], and 2 Chainz[3] lately. I'm just sayin', it's all about balance.

I could always use some new music/podcasts, especially if they're free. So in the interest of lightening the mood around here,, I'd like to and ask you folks exactly what you're listening to. And while you're at it, tell me what you listen on, be it an iPod, iPhone, Zune, bootleg Radio Shack MP3 player, or for my old-school heads, a Sony Walkman. I'm just curious/nosey.

Whatever you do, please do not use this as a forum to b*tch and moan about how bad today's music is vs the old days!!! This isn't the place or time.

Have you listened to anything new that actually excited you lately? I can't say I have. Enlighten me. Share the love, and tell the rest of AverageNation™ what's in constant rotation on your iPod you-know-where. Drop links.

Question: What are you listening to? Anything new and exciting? Put me on. You cop that J. Cole?

[1] We trippy, mane.

[2] Free Lil' Boosie!!!

[3] Is it 2 Chainz or Titty Boi? This dude should make up his mind.

AB.com Open Mic Thursday.

Busy day. Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind today?

UC Berkley's Sorta Racist Republican Bake Sale.

Ok, I could add a lot of commentary on this story, but I'd rather just roll the ball out there and have you guys comment without my opinion muddying the waters.

An "Increase Diversity" bake sale planned by a group of students in Berkley, Calif., in which the price of baked goods will depend on the buyer's gender and race is drawing cries of racism, which is just what the organizers say they wanted.

The bake sale, run by the Berkeley College Republicans, was created in reaction to SB 185, a bill currently being considered by Gov. Jerry Brown, which would authorize California public universities to consider race, gender, ethnicity, and national/geographic origin in the admissions process.

The Berkeley College Republicans firmly believe measuring any admit's merit based on race is intrinsically racist," reads the description of the event on its Facebook page. "Our bake sale will be at the same time and location of a phone bank which will be making calls to urge Gov. Brown to sign the bill…The pricing structure of the baked goods is meant to be satirical, while urging students to think more critically about the implications of this policy."

The price of a baked good is $2 for white people, $1.50 if you're Asian, $1 for Latinos, 75 cents for African-Americans and 25 cents for Native Americans, the original Facebook event read. Women of all races get a discount of 25 cents.

According to the original event page, the pricing structure was put in place "to ensure the fairest distribution, and make sure that there are a DIVERSE population of races of students getting BCR's delicious baked goods."

"Hope to see you all there! If you don't come, you're a racist!" the original event page read.

Ok, I gotta get one thing off my chest. If nothing else, this incident shows just how brazenly clueless many (not all, but many) Republicans (yes, even young ones) are about the subject of race, and why the GOP as a whole has serious, deeply ingrained issues that prevent them from attracting minorities not named Cinderfella Daeda Daedalus.



Seriously, if you want to make a point about the unfairness of affirmative action, trivializing the struggles of minority groups is probably not the best method. Any valid argument is lost in the shuffle of this juvenile publicity stunt.

What say ye'?!?

Question: What are your thoughts about the College Republicans' bake sale?!?

Mr. EBT Sets The Record Straight.

This, my friends, is just freakin' insane. If this guy was white, his name would be James O'Keefe and he'd be the toast of the Tea Party crowd. Instead, his special brand of parody got lost in the shuffle, and he's looked at as some sorta pariah.





Minus 20 for these Negroes showing up on national TV high as giraffe coochie, but I'm glad to see them setting the record straight.

Obama To Black America: "Quit Yer B*tchin'!!!"

Like any good self-proclaimed intellectual brotha, I've spewed a million and one theories and solutions for what ails the black community here. Of course, this all sounds great on paper (or in my case, your tablet), but in the real world, there are very few easy fixes for chronic black unemployment. Regardless of what you think the fix is, I think most black folks would uniformly agree that President Obama's "rising tide lifts all boats" excuse is getting a wee bit played out. I'm not saying Black America is tellin' Obama to call Tyrone, but as his slipping black approval rating shows, we certainly appear to gettin' tired of his sh*t.[1]

Obama, of course, is running for re-election, and just seems to be realizing that the very black folks he's mostly ignored for the past 2 1/2 years are going to be pretty essential to him winning a 2nd term. After seeming to be afraid to be caught holding hands with us in public, now Obama is showing up at corner stores and barbershops nationwide asking people to come support him in 2012. His "You Might Not Really Like Me, But Seriously, Consider The Alternatives." Tour took a pit stop at the annual gathering of the Congressional Black Caucus in DC this weekend, where Obama pulled a serious okey doke and... wait for it... played the Civil Rights card.

In a fiery summons to an important voting bloc, President Barack Obama told blacks on Saturday to quit crying and complaining and "put on your marching shoes" to follow him into battle for jobs and opportunity.

And though he didn't say it directly, for a second term, too.

Obama's speech to the annual awards dinner of the Congressional Black Caucus was his answer to increasingly vocal griping from black leaders that he's been giving away too much in talks with Republicans -- and not doing enough to fight black unemployment, which is nearly double the national average at 16.7 percent.

But he said blacks need to have faith in the future -- and understand that the fight won't be won if they don't rally to his side. "I need your help," Obama said.

The president will need black turnout to match its historic 2008 levels if he's to have a shot at winning a second term, and Saturday's speech was a chance to speak directly to inner-city concerns.

He acknowledged blacks have suffered mightily because of the recession, and are frustrated that the downturn is taking so long to reverse. "So many people are still hurting. So many people are barely hanging on," he said, then added: "And so many people in this city are fighting us every step of the way."

But Obama said blacks know all too well from the civil rights struggle that the fight for what is right is never easy.

Take off your bedroom slippers. Put on your marching shoes," he said, his voice rising as applause and cheers mounted. "Shake it off. Stop complainin'. Stop grumblin'. Stop cryin'. We are going to press on. We have work to do."

If only unemployed brothas could afford "marching shoes". What the heck are "marching shoes" anyway?



And sorry my man, but I think the correct phrase is "I have work to do," not we. We took days off work, volunteering for a candidate we believed in back in 08'. You are the one who has folded like a cheap suit everytime the GOP challenged you, and basically treated black America like a Yung Berg album.[2] Bipartisanship my a$$.

Of course, given the alternatives (President Bachmann, anyone), Obama's right.

We will vote for him again in 2012. We have no other choice.

All criticism aside, this was a great speech, punctuated by an utterly gangsta smacking of the podium as he strolled off. If only he carried that same swagger into the negotiating room when he's dealing with the GOP.

If only.

Question: Is Obama's assertion that black folks need to fight for him a little misguided, given how little he seems to be willing to fight for us? Will the black turnout in 2012 match 2008 levels, or has the enthusiasm simply dissipated too much with the economy's deterioration?

[1] Excuses to anybody I lost with that decade-old Badu reference. It was a long weekend.

[2] Cause nobody wants a Yung Berg album... get it? Awww, forget it. And yeah, that makes two outdated black music references in one day. Again, long weekend.

Maybe The Funniest News Clip Of The Year.

No need to lie, this dude used to be one of my favorite rappers. I think it's hilarious how dude peels off in that Hyundai at the end, but that's just me.



* Hat tip to Bol.

AB.com Open Mic Monday.

Busy day. Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind today?

All I Do Is Lose.

We the worst.

AB.com Open Mic Friday.

I'll be back Monday. Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind today?

ArmChair Obama™: How Do You Reel In Wasteful Government Spending?

No need to lie, as a guy who's spent a sizable portion of his professional career doing government consulting, I know firsthand how inefficient and wasteful some agencies can be. I've witnesses scores of employees sit around and do nothing more than play solitaire and watch the clock.[1] I've seen other contractors take 3 hour lunches at L'Enfant Plaza while billing their agency $250/hour. If someone had the guts to tackle these blatant wastes of government resources, that guy might gain my vote. Of course, this won't ever happen because despite whatever hot air they might blow on the campaign trail, no candidate would bother trying to unravel such nonsense.

Speaking of nonsense and government waste.

Where does a muffin cost more than $16?

At a government conference, it turns out.

They may run just over $2 at your average coffee shop, but the Justice Department paid seven to eight times as much at a gathering it held at the Capital Hilton in Washington. And on Tuesday, the muffins seemed well on their way to joining the Pentagon’s $600 toilet seat as symbols of wasteful spending.

Justice Department auditors also criticized a $76-per-person lunch at a conference at a Hilton in San Francisco, featuring slow-cooked Berkshire pork carnitas, hearts-of-romaine salad — and coffee at $8.24 a cup.

A report released Tuesday by the department’s acting inspector general, Cynthia A. Schnedar, is full of what she called “wasteful or extravagant spending” at 10 law enforcement conferences spanning the George W. Bush and Obama administrations. Descriptions of cookies and brownies costing the government nearly $10 each and beef Wellington hors d’oeuvres at $7.32 per serving struck a nerve in Washington, where austerity and belt-tightening are the watchwords at a time of economic hardship.

Even the auditor’s report noted the irony that Justice was failing to fully “minimize” costs as required under guidelines put in place after an audit in 2007, when the department had drawn criticism for serving platters of Swedish meatballs costing nearly $5 each.

Overall, in 2008 and 2009, the Justice Department held or participated in 1,832 conferences at a cost of $121 million, the report said.

Most of the conferences studied were held or planned during the Bush administration, and the report included a May 2009 memo from then-Deputy Attorney General David W. Ogden vowing that the Obama administration would crack down on conferences and other “extravagant spending, especially during these challenging financial times.’’

The event that raised the most eyebrows — the 2009 legal training conference in Washington sponsored by Justice’s Executive Office for Immigration Review — was held three months after the Ogden memo. It featured 250 assorted muffins for $4,200, or $16.80 apiece, and $2,880 for 300 cookies and brownies, along with various pastries and snacks.

Just so we're clear, this is nothing new. I'm sure the anti-ObamaBots will throw the blame at his feet, and probably try to tie this to Eric Holder, and somehow tie it back to the Black Panthers[2]. That's just how the guilt by association logic game works.

Oddly (and don't shoot the messenger here!) if nothing else, these outlandish expenditures signal a need for more government to me. All of these events were presumably catered by contractors who mark up food to outlandish degrees, knowing nobody will bother actually looking at the itemized receipt before issuing payment. If the government had its own catering service, maybe the costs for such events would be easier to contain.

Either way, what a lovely waste of taxpayer dollars. Play ArmChair Obama™ and fix this.

Question: What would you do to remedy this sort of wasteful spending as President? Does this sort of wasteful spending piss you off too?

[1] Says the guy who (occasionally) blogs at lunchtime.

[2] Note: no $82 beanpies were procured.

Troy Davis Open Thread.

I know ya'll have opinions on this. Speak on it here.

Spare The Rod And Humiliate The Child?!?

[Editor's Warning: The clip in this post features some bad language, n*gga nonsense, and possible child neglect. You've been forewarned.]

Like most parents, my wife and I struggle with finding the right balance when the need arises to discipline our two young sons. There's truly no "one size fits all" when it comes to keeping your kids in check. Some folks are hardcore and "old school", pulling out belts and switches at the drop of a dime. Others take a "new school" approach of time outs, revoked privileges, and the like. My wife and I tend generally tend to go more with the latter, for lots of reasons I don't care to elaborate on here.

With all that said, I think there's a very thin line between discipline and outright abuse. This World Star Hip Hop clip blurs the line.



I'll withhold further opinion and punt to you guys.

Actually, I do have an opinion on this. Brace yourselves for one of my parented rambling rants. Maybe this'll make sense, maybe it won't.

This is just plain wrong.

Look, I get that it's hard raising a black boy in today's society. I'm trying to raise two myself (albeit with LOTS of help from my wife), so I understand. That said, I'm not so sure humiliation is the best way to teach your child how to control himself at school. Cutting off his eyebrows, and probably making him the laughing stock of the school sure ain't the solution. This is borderline abuse if it wasn't videotaped. Putting it on WorldStar is absolute abuse. What exactly is the point is sharing your child's humiliation with the entire internets? I sure hope it isn't to dissuade him from becoming a criminal statistic as this video's intro seems to suggest, because that's about as bassackwards a manner of thinking as I've heard in some time.

To be clear, I'm not saying that beating your kid is a bad thing. I actually think making the kid run till he passes out and doing pushups is within reasonable bounds. But something about exploiting your child for public consumption just seems waaaay off. There's some weird, disgusting level of perversion here that goes far beyond trying to be a responsible parent disciplining his son. This isn't about that at all. This is something far darker.

Lots of us (and by us, I mean black folks) say it's okay to do this, because hey, we were beaten with switches as kids and, hey, we (allegedly) turned out just fine. That may be true on some level, but given the staggering number of black folks doing jail time, maybe we might need to rethink the whole notion of how we keep our kids in check. Laugh all you want about white kids showing their asses in the grocery story and getting put in "time out", but when they're proportionately a far smaller percentage of those in the penal system, perhaps their tactics aren't all bad.[1] Beating a child doesn't accomplish much. Instead of forcing them to explain their actions in a healthy manner and dealing with that, whipping a kid forces them to suppress what they feel. Fast forward 20 years and you've got the Dad in this video. I'm no social scientist (clearly!), but it's possible our parents and grandparents didn't have this whole thing figured out.

It's clear this is an Air Jordans and Pampers dad, not someone in his kid's life on the daily. He's more concerned about sending his kid to school "fresh" and "cute" than he is raising a son who goes to school to actually... uh, "learn". Dad's only apparent role is to be an XBox 360 partner and distributor of occasional asswhippings. The fact that the child is staying with grandma (and not Dad) is proof enough. I'm willing to bet this ingrate doesn't know the name of his kid's school, let alone his teachers. So there's an equally good chance he hasn't visited the school and has no context on exactly how or why his kid's consistently getting in trouble. This is the personification of a smart/dumb n*gga. Smart enough to know how to edit a video and drop some jail n*gga logic in it, apparently to make a "point". Dumb enough to post it online. This whole thing makes me sick, as if that ratty 12-year old Orlando Magic T-Mac jersey wasn't enough all by itself. Arrgggh.

If I sound extra judgmental/high & mighty on this one, shoot me. I don't give a sh*t. This ignorant, misguided assed Negro needs to be arrested and made a statistic himself. This kid might actually be better off a ward of the state. Yeah, I said it. I'm sure Mr. Magic would say he doesn't know any better because he didn't have his own father there when he came up, but at some point that sh*t is nothing more than an excuse and a self-fulfilling prophecy. Unless his father also put a pointless beating on WorldStar, this n*gga should really know better. The fact that he ends this instructional video with a screenshot of a crying child and the caption "Job well done!!!" says he ain't got a clue.

A$$hole.

Question: Is all this really necessary? Is this abuse or simply hard discipline? Was there perhaps a better way of getting the point across?!?

[1] Yes, I know there are also 101 other issues relating to institutional racism in the judicial system that contribute to the lopsided incarceration rates. Carry on.

* Hat tip to Bol.

Obama's "Stick It To The Rich" Plan, Take II.

Another day, another speech. If speeches were gold, we'd prolly all be swimming in a pool of Ciroc and caviar right now.[1]

President Obama unveiled a plan on Monday to cut the national debt by roughly $3 trillion over the next decade.

Obama's plan reflects his vision for how best to put the country on a more fiscally sustainable course, so it is different in nature than the kind of legislative compromise he was trying to broker this summer during the debt-ceiling debate, a senior administration official said.

A driving principle behind the proposal is that high-income individuals and corporations should pay more in taxes than they do currently so that they will bear some of the burden of debt reduction going forward.

Obama even introduced the "Buffett Rule" for millionaires -- named after investor Warren Buffett, who has frequently argued that the very rich are not taxed enough.

But the Obama plan has already drawn criticism from Republicans, who have been adamant about not wanting to raise anyone's taxes. The plan Obama released includes some $3 trillion in savings on top of the nearly $1 trillion already signed into law under the debt ceiling deal enacted in August.

Of that, however, close to $500 billion would have to be used to pay for the American Jobs Act, which Obama proposed last week. And a third of the savings he proposes would come from expected war savings.

Indeed, in remarks on Monday morning, the president threatened to veto any debt-reduction legislation that cuts benefits and doesn't include higher taxes on the wealthy. "I will not support any plan that puts all the burden on ordinary Americans," he said.

Look, Obama is my dude and all. I frequently criticize him here, not because I don't support him (I do), but because I hope he's keeping his ear to the streets (aka: the internets) and listening to what we have to say. Dude appears to be in for the fight of his life next year. I'm obviously on his side, and couldn't stomach seeing any of his perspective opponents (save for Romney, whom I could tolerate) being inaugurated come January 2013. So lets get that clear for once and for all. He has been mediocre at best, but I'd certainly rather have him and yet another gunslinger from the Lone Star State.

That said, this latest proposal is going to fail miserably because it's basically more of the same. He couldn't get taxes raised on the wealthy when Dems controlled both chambers, there's no reason to expect a different outcome given the current political climate. Rolling decreased war spending into an overall deficit reduction plan is dubious math at best, blatant dishonesty at worst. The whole class warfare, rich pay more argument makes perfectly good sense to me, but Obama hasn't been able to "sell it" in the court of public opinion yet. The GOP beat him to the punch with their "don't penalize success or tax job creators" talking point, and he has no counter move yet. And good luck with Stimulus II while you're at it.

So yeah, basically, this goose is cooked.

Question: Thoughts on Obama's deficit reduction plan? How can he reposition the "taxing the rich" issue to appeal to more voters and push the GOP to pass this?

[1] Uhhh, on second thought, cancel that pool.

Suits, The Best TV Show You've (Probably) Never Heard Of.

I like watching television. I know that's not exactly the most politically correct thing for a supposedly learned man to admit, but who cares? I also read a lot (duh!) so it's not like I'm one dimensional. With that unnecessary non-apology out the way, I'd like to introduce you to your new favorite TV show.

Suits was (is?) a summer show on the USA Network that just finished its first season. If you like legal dramas (and lets face it, who doesn't?) then you'd probably love this. The premise is a bit convoluted and jive unrealistic, but the acting and shifting plotlines are so good you can forgive them. Mike Ross is a stoner/slacker/college dropout with a photographic memory. When he accidentally stumbles into a job interview at a corporate law firm, he gets hired on the spot by Harvey Specter, an arrogant (think a non-Jewish version of Entourage's Ari Gold) high-powered attorney who will do anything to win a case, including passing Mike off as a Harvard Law grad.



What's notable about the show is that it has not one, but two black women in significant lead roles. Gina Torres (Larry Fishburne's wife) owns the aforementioned lawfirm. Newcomer Meghan Markle (yes, she's black also) plays the ace paralegal. An excellent supporting case and great dialogue make this the best thing on TV this side of CBS' equally riveting law drama The Good Wife. Given that show's upcoming deep dive into Will and Alicia's romantic relationship, I think I might be counting down the days till Suits returns next June.

In case you missed this, the shows are on rerunning on USA right now, or you could just catch up by watching full episodes via the show's website.

Question: Have you see Suits? What's your favorite TV show (at the moment)?

Ashy Or Classy?!? - Floyd "Money" Mayweather.

[Editor's Note: Yeah, this is about a day late. Deal with it.]

Like much of Real America, I too was posted up at a fight party this weekend, and witnessed what will no doubt be one of the most debated sporting developments of the year, as Floyd "Money" Mayweather defeated some soup can named Ortiz in the most shocking of manners. For those of you who happened to miss this Great Moment In Negro Nonsense, here it is, courtesy of a really fuzzy Youtube video that will undoubtedly be pulled any minute now.



Opinions on this varied greatly. Some folks thought Mayweather's punch was perfectly fair. The first rule of boxing is guard your grill. Ortiz obviously missed that memo, and found himself on the receiving end of a two piece. Some also asserted that Ortiz' headbutt was dirty, and thus Floyd was justified in stealing Ortiz.

Personally, I thought this was Ashy at hell. Headbutts aren't legal, but they are commonplace in boxing. Fighters are usually docked a point for them, and the fight resumes. I don't know why Ortiz was begging for apology like Keith Sweat, but he clearly wasn't paying attention when he got clocked. If you're a guy who thinks he's the best fighter alive, as Mayweather does, you shouldn't have to take cheapshots. He was already beating Ortiz anyway, so why bother? It's not like he hasn't been headbutted before. I don't see how this enhances his legacy.

But not to outdo himself, Mayweather saved his best for last.[1]



Like school on a Sunday. No class.

Ashy as hell!!!

Question: Ashy Or Classy?!? Was Mayweather's knockout legit or cheap? What about that interview? Was Merchant out of line, or should Floyd have been a little more humble, as if that's humanly possible for him?

[1] And for the 1,023rd time, who the hell are those twins, and how do they keep getting in the ring at every fight?!?

AB.com Open Mic Monday.

Busy day. Here's your open mic. Speak on it. Here's some stuff to chew on...

Obama's Tax-The-Rich Plan - Released this weekend. Has about a much a chance of passing as I do signing an NBA contract.

Money Mayweather - Got a drop on this on the site already. Redirect your comments there.

Syracuse and Pitt join the ACC - Don't see how this helps the conference's football profile. Basketball-wise, eventually having 16 teams is only going to muddy the waters.

NFL Sunday - Redskins eke out victory to go to 2-0. Vick loses in return to ATL. Is Cam Newton the real deal? Can the Patriots be stopped?!?

Mass Appeal - I got name-dropped in the Chicago Examiner. Thought that was sorta cool.

Question: What's on your mind today?

Tyler Perry's For Better Or For Worse TV Series Trailer.

What the hell, since this has clearly (and inadvertently) turned into Tyler Perry Week™ here, why not toss another log on the fire? Perry's small screen series adaptation of the Why Did I Get Married? movies is coming to TBS this fall, whether you like it or not. The check already cleared, so there.

For Better Or For Worse seems to center entirely on the one dimensional characters of Michael Jai White and Tasha Smith, two incredibly annoying people who really added nothing to the aforementioned movies at all. So yeah, the For Worse part seems to apply here.



Personally, this looks like waaaaay too much drama for me. Is the fractured marriage between a untrustworthy, cheating man and quarrelsome, untrusting woman really a good enough premise for a weekly show? I don't think so, and while I'm sure somebody's going to label this "positive" because the main characters live in a nice house, reality is this sort of dysfunction isn't something I'm particularly interested in watching.

I'll pass. You?!?

Question: What do you think of Tyler Perry's For Better Or For Worse? Will you watch this?

Tyler Perry Is Hollywood's Top Earner. No, Seriously.

Mark this one down as one of those (increasingly) rare instances where I just roll a story out, sans my commentary, and ask ya'll to drive the discussion.

By dressing up as a woman, Tyler Perry became the highest-earning man in Hollywood.

According to Forbes' new report, the actor/writer/director/producer took in the most cash in show business from May 2010-May 2011, with his multiple movies and two TV shows earning him $130 million during that time frame. His "Madea's Big Happy Family," in which he played multiple roles, including the loud woman title character, earned $53.3 million, while "Why Did I Get Married Too" took in $60 million.

His shows include "House of Payne" and "Meet The Browns."

Coming in at number two at $113 million was Jerry Bruckheimer, the mega movie producer who flopped with a pair of live action titles (including Jake Gyllenhaal's "Prince of Persia," which took in only $90 million and was one of the big busts of the year) but got back to his billion dollar ways with the fourth "Pirates of the Caribbean" film, which took in $1.03 billion thanks to worldwide theater success.

Steven Spielberg, in his producing capacity, raked in $107 million. And that doesn't even include the success of this summer's "Transformers 3" or "Super 8," or the upcoming films that he's directing, "The Adventures of Tin Tin," and "War Horse," both of which come out this fall. He's also a producer behind "Men in Black III," which, presumably, may make a few bucks.

Your thoughts?

Question: What does Perry's ascendance to the top of Hollywood say about the movie industry, black America, and Perry himself?!?

AB Goes To The Movies - Jumping The Broom.

One of the unfortunate side effects of The Tyler Perrification of American Negro Cinema™ is how his success has basically ethered that of other black directors. As Spike Lee would attest, it's damn near impossible for a brotha to get a movie greenlit right now. If you aren't adhering to that low-budget, high-coonery, church-friendly format Perry's perfected, you're prolly headed straight-to-DVD, which is a real death sentence because nobody buys DVD's anymore. One guy who's actually managed to stay eating in this climate is TD Jakes, and his latest production Jumping The Broom (now on DVD!) shows how two men's variations on the same Christian-centric theme can be so dramatically different in quality and content.

Jakes' prior cinematic offerings 2004's Woman Thou Art Loosed and 09's Not Easily Broken wove stories of Christian redemption into dramas about everyday people with real (sometimes too real) issues. While Perry depends on hamhanded preachy asides and ear-shattering gospel sangin' to make his point, Jakes' characters seem to come to their own revelations in a far more subtle (and thus realistic) form. Those were both quality films, serious dramas with good dialogue, good actors, and realistic depictions of how spirituality plays out in the real world. I loved em' both, but neither did particularly well at the box office. I'm not sure what that says about Black America, but it surely says something. The fact that Jumping The Broom basically caught a brick at the box office also says something about Black America. Sadly, we missed out on a pretty good movie here.

Jumping stars Paula Patton as a lawyer who swears off giving up her cookies until marriage after a series of pointless flings. When she meets an equally successful investment banker (Laz Alonzo) by accident (literally) a love affair is quickly sparked and a shotgun wedding on Martha's Vineyard is lined up mere weeks later. One little problem: The bride and groom's families haven't ever met, which sets up some predictable fish-out-of-water hijinks as his ghetto fam mixes with her upper crust family.



I don't want to give away much more of the plot here, you'd really just have to see the movie yourself because telling much more throws us into spoiler territory. The usually deplorable Loretta Devine keeps on working, and she's quite effective here as the groom's mother who just can't let go of her son. Angela Bassett plays the bride's angry, secretive mom with equal aplomb. A bountiful cast (I mean, seriously, there's like 400 people in this damn movie!) of ancillary characters like Tasha Smith, Lil Romeo, Mike Epps, Meagan Good, and Gary Dourdan provide the requisite sideplots and background filler conversation without distracting from the main event. Cameos by Jakes and El Debarge (!) round out the lineup. Like the 2011 Memphis Grizzlies, this is a roster light on big names, but full of talent. The net result is a well-executed, smart drama that never takes itself too seriously.

If there's one drawback it's how quickly and unrealistically the film's numerous (and deep!) issues get resolved. It's almost like director Salim Akil looked up and realized "oh sh*t, we only got 10 minutes of film left?" and tried to tie up everything at the last moment. It somewhat took away from the overall enjoyment of a really good film, but that could just be me.

Final Verdict - Stop complaining about the lack of quality black films and go rent this movie now. This is a well-written, well-acted, well-directed drama with an all black cast. It (only) pulled in $37M during it's theatrical release, which probably ensures Jakes Woman Thou Art Loosed : On The 7th Day (due out later this year) will see the light of day. Still, Perry's Madea's Big Happy Family made almost that much on opening weekend. I'm not sure what that says about Black America, but it surely says something. 4 Stars (Out Of 5)

Question: Did you see Jumping The Broom?!?

Ashy Or Classy?!? - NYC Cops Get Their Grind On.

World Star Hip Hop, depending on whom you ask, is either simply a reflection of modern society or the devil's internet playground. No need to lie, I often stop by myself to watch IHOP fights, ghetto music videos, and random rap battles. It's just entertainment, but it's certainly not a site I hope to find myself on anytime soon, for any reason. A handful of New York City cops are probably thinking the same thing right now.

The NYPD is reviewing a new Internet video that appears to show city cops in uniform provocatively grinding scantily clad women at the West Indian Day Parade. Several women participated in the parade-route debauchery and sought out uniformed officers for the dirty dancing.

Two men in uniform who appear to be NYPD cops looked embarrassed and practically stood still when they were approached by women who bent over and shoved their rear-ends into the cops' groins.

But two other apparent NYPD officers were all too willing to get frisky. They can be seen on the video aggressively play-thrusting their pelvises up against the backsides of at least two women, gyrating to the beat.

Everyone in the video - including at least four cops in uniform and scores of revelers - is laughing and having a good time. But NYPD bosses don't think the video is very funny. A police investigative unit in Brooklyn has been ordered to look into the video and the cops who are seen dancing on it, sources said.

"It's not corruption," said a source familiar with the investigation. "But it looks bad. It's young cops doing something stupid."

The video was first posted at worldstarhiphop.com

Like I said, the day I end up on worldstarhiphop.com is the day I know I've officially failed my parents. Seriously. That place is debaucherous.

As for the video of the cops, well, judge for yourselves. Be forewarned, if you don't like suggestive dancing or lousy Caribbean music, you might wanna sit this one out.



Okay, let's be honest here, that sh*t is pretty unprofessional. One of the cops looks like he's enjoying it waaaay too much, and should probably go check his shorts. Cops are paid to protect and serve. If you're too busy windin' to notice that guy at the 2:14 mark clearly steal a purse, then you should find another profession.[1]

On the flipside, given the perpetual tension between policemen and communities of color, taking yourself a bit less seriously could probably be seen as a good thing. The citizens probably get the sense that this cop's not such a bad guy, and might, by proxy, trust him a bit more when the need arises. So I suppose there's that.

What do you think?

Question: Ashy Or Classy?!? Should these cops be reprimanded for bumpin' and grindin' on the clock, or is this merely good, wholesome family fun?

[1] Ok, that didn't really happen. But it woulda been funny/ironic if it did, no?

President Obama's Last Chance To "Stick It To The Man".

[Editor's Note: Maybe this post would be better titled "Obama's Latest Attempt The Make Rich People Pay Their Fair Share", but who's counting?!?]

One nagging thorn in Obama's side has been his inability to truly "spread the wealth" as he famously asserted during his time on the campaign trail. Attempts to lower the deficit by slapping the rich with a greater tax bill died quietly during 2010's lame duck Congress and Obama was similarly smacked down when he tried to do so in the midst of last spring's debt ceiling pissing match.

While it makes total sense to me to ask those well off to forfeit a yacht or two, the GOP summarily dismissed the idea, even when they were a minority in the House and Senate. Something tells me Obama's latest attempt to pay for a jobs bill by taxing the rich is great election season populism, but won't get him any further with his detractors.

President Obama would fund his $447 billion plan to create jobs largely by raising taxes on wealthier families, White House aides said Monday after the president again called on Congress to support the package.

During a Rose Garden appearance, Obama pledged to send Congress the American Jobs Act on Monday evening when the legislative body resumes its session. Aides revealed for the first time that the plan will include limits on itemized deductions for individuals who earn more than $200,000 a year and families that earn more than $250,000.

Eliminating those deductions will bring in an additional $400 billion in revenue, said Jack Lew, director of the Office of Management and Budget.

The administration also is recommending closing oil and gas loopholes and changing the depreciation rules for corporate airplanes. All of the new rules, which would take effect in 2013, would bring in an estimated total of $467 billion, more than enough to pay for the president’s jobs bill, Lew said during the White House’s daily press briefing Monday.

Obama has proposed similar tax hikes on the wealthy in the past, but they werecd rejected by Congress.

Uhhhm, yeah, good luck with that one.

To Obama's credit, this is a good way to put the issue of taxation back on the media's radar, and he is also suggesting a solution that is indeed, in theory, paid for. We'll see how this one plays out.

Question: Any chance in Hell this bill gets passed?!?

AB.com Open Mic Monday.

Busy day. Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind today?

AB Goes To The Movies: Madea's Big Happy Family.

You should already know what you're getting into when you decide (willingly or otherwise) to sit down and watch a Tyler Perry movie. If it's a non-Madea affair (For Colored Girls, Why Did I Get Married?, Daddy's Little Girls) there's a chance it might be a decent watch. Certainly not great, but good. On the other hand, if the word "Madea" is anywhere in the title, you should probably just shut your entire brain off and pretend to enjoy it. My wife likes his movies and my wife isn't a moron. I watch these along with her in the name of marital fidelity. If anyone has a problem with this, meet me outside.

The most recent in this series of outstanding American cinema is called Madea's Big Happy Family. Assuming you're a newbie to this genre, Happy Family is like a case study in why Tyler Perry should really hang up the dress and pumps for once and for all. The eponymous protagonist finds herself trying to rescue the tattered family of her niece Shirley (Loretta Devine) after she gets diagnosed with terminal cancer. And boy is Shirley's family screwed up. Byron (Lil' Bow Wow) is a barely legal jailbird with baby mama (Teyanna Taylor) drama and an antsy golddigging girlfriend (Lauren London) who keeps urging him to give up the 9 to 5 and go back to the traaap. Kimberly (Shannon Kane) is a bitterly angry woman who looks down on the very family that raised her and treats her husband (Isaiah Mustafa from those Old Spice commercial) with equal contempt. Tammy (Natalie Desselle) browbeats her henpecked husband (Rodney Perry) to the point of emasculation and can't control her mouthy preteen kids.

None of the kids gets along with each other either, which makes Shirley's task of informing them of her impending demise that much more difficult. It's waaay too much drama for one dying woman to handle, so Madea steps in with her patented brand of homespun wit and wisdom. And physical threats of course, because other than Jesus, slapping a child silly is clearly the only way to make a 10 year old act right. Madea-regulars like Cora, Mr. Brown, and Aunt Bam round out the cast of characters with their own special blend of coonery. It's like Amos and Andy reincarnated.



It's hard to objectively critique a movie like this, given its target demo and total lack of pretense. A Madea movie isn't meant to be taken seriously, so trying to hold it to some level of celluloid standard is pointless. But it's hard to watch a movie so terribly written with such outrageously one-sided characters and not want to throw your iPad out the window. It's like Perry simply says "f*ck effort, n*ggas is gon' pay to see this anyway!" The dialogue is so bad a 3rd grader could have written it. There are too many "message!" moments about getting tested for prostate cancer, raising your own damn kids, and being a "real man!" that the whole thing felt like a ghetto after school special. Like every TP movie, someone gets raped, because incest is obviously at the root of each and every problem plaguing the black community. Either that, or TP's simply devoid of any other vaguely original dramatic foil. And of course the damn sermonizing and gospel sangin'... Jesus, would they stop with the churchlady pandering already? Come on, Tyler, just try a bit harder.

Strangely the one thing that was dramatically different from every other Madea movie ever made was the whole noble man/cruddy woman dynamic. I actually didn't see this one coming. Every man in the movie is the victim of a shifty, selfish woman. They coulda renamed this one Tyler Perry Presents... B*tches Ain't Shit" and it might have been a bit more accurate.

Of course, watchin a Madea movie isn't meant to be a serious moviegoing experience, so even I realize how pointless my critiques are. These flicks are meant to be a somewhat uplifting 90 minute break from reality, and there's really nothing wrong with that. They have their core audience, and that core audience isn't stupid or uncultured because they want a somewhat uplifting 90 minute break from reality. Maybe it's critics like me who need to fall back and just pretend to laugh.

Because a happy wife makes a happy home, after all.

Final Verdict - We didn't see this in the movies so I'm probably going to be a bit extra generous with my rating because this only cost a few bucks as an iTunes rental. Don't expect greatness because no such thing exists here. If you need a cheap laugh, diversion, I suppose this might could[1] do the trick. 2.5 Stars (Out Of 5)

Question: Did you see Madea's Big Happy Family?!? Am I over analyzing this?

[1] Yes, I said "might could". Got a problem with that? Meet me outside.

AB.com Open Mic Friday.

I'll be back Monday. Here's your open mic. Speak on it. Here's a few topics to get you started...

Obama Speech

NFL Kickoff

GOPers Skip Obama Speech For NFL Kickoff

The Stimulus Worked The First Time... Should The GOP Vote To Fund Round II?!?

9/11 10th Anniversary Is Sunday. Your Thoughts?

Question: What's on your mind today?

Laugh Break - Mike Brooks.

Anyone familiar with the DC comedy scene has surely seen Mike Brooks. It's a shame dude never quite made it out.

AB.com's MSNBC GOP Debate Recap.

Sorry for the intentionally misleading post title. This isn't a recap by any means. If you follow me on Twitter (and damnit, why aren't you yet?) then you heard me go in repeatedly on this "debate last night" along with some of my favorite Tweeps @BlackSnob @RiPPDemUp @wu_youngAOM and @TheUppityNegro. The absurdity of some (ok, MOST) of the statements was beyond comprehension. You can go read my entire timeline to catch up...

In short, I thought Romney "won" mostly by default because he (and Huntsman, who is toast) sounded like the only rational, semi-literate adult onstage. The others, especially Ron Paul and Rick Perry seemed to be hellbent on out-batshitcrazystatementing each other. I don't even know if that's an actual word, but it's quite apropos. Basically, unless the GOP nominates ole' Mittens, they're essentially handing Obama 4 more years, economy be damned.

Question: Did you watch the GOP "debate"? What were your general observations? Who "won"?!?

Ashy Or Classy?!? - Tea Party Zombies Must Die.

I'm not much of a first person shooter fan, but I suppose I get the "disconnect from reality" allure of them. That said, while I felt really bad afterward, I played Tea Party Zombies Must Die for damn near a full hour yesterday and still can't get past Glenn Beck.

Manufactured outrage was turned up in unison yesterday evening as the right wing of the Internet became aware of the existence of an online video game called Tea Party Zombies Must Die. "DON'T GET TEA-BAGGED!" reads the game's description. "The Tea Party zombies are walking the streets of America. Grab your weapons and bash their rotten brains to bits! Destroy zombie Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Glenn Beck, the Koch Brothers, and many more!" The game is free to use here; design and playability are surprisingly slick. But none of that is of concern to partisans, who don't often get to use threats of violence and weapons-related outrage against the left. "I thought Liberals didn't like guns?" reads one comment on the game. Conservative blogs were not as gentle, even comparing the game to — you guessed it — Nazis.

The company behind the game, StarvingEyes, has clients including TLC and Hotels.com, but Jason Oda, the boss, told Media Research Center TV, "The game was just a personal project. I am not worried about it effecting [sic] business."

The game does call to mind the infamous Sarah Palin target map, which included Representative Gabrielle Giffords, and the more recent Arizona Glock giveaway — the key difference, of course, being the complicitness of elected officials. Dumb and tasteless? Sure. But at least the game was not signed off on by a professional politician.

Let's not be cutesy about this: violent imagery of murdering politicians and TV personalities isn't funny in the least bit. I suspect the makers of this game see this as a calculated risk of sorts for free pub and don't really care about the inevitable Conservative backlash. I felt like I needed to take a shower after gunning down a few dozen Fox News Generic Blonds and the Bill O'Reilly zombie, so I could imagine the outrage of those on the right. A game that allowed you to hack Michelle Obama and members of the Congressional Black Caucus with a machete would prolly piss me off a bit too.

I suppose if there's any point to me made here, it's that violent imagery isn't the sole province of either political party. Wackos exist on both ends of the spectrum, and thus we get drivel like this, of the equally deplorable Slap Obama game.

So much for civil discourse.

Question: Ashy or Classy?!? Is this game merely innocent, clean, wholesome American fun, or does such imagery have no place in society?!?

ArmChair Reagan™ - How Would You Create More Jobs?!?

One of my favorite regular features here is ArmChair Obama™ where I essentially roll out an issue and ask you guys how you'd solve it if you were President. With the POTUS readying a huge primetime address (opposite the NFL. What a cluster!) Thursday to deliver his silver bullet for 9.1% unemployment, what better occasion to flip the script and pose a slightly different question.

We all know Obama will propose another round of stimulus spending. This makes perfect logical sense, given the fact that it did indeed work quite well the first time around. Just ask all the GOP governors who used it to plug their own budget shortfalls. It also makes zero political sense, given the fact that the GOP isn't exactly in a spending mood right now. If these dimwits are willing to withhold FEMA funding for hurricane victims until offsetting spending cuts can be identified, then please believe they aren't gonna co-sign on another $500B or so in Stimulus spending. So basically, we (and Obama) are all screwed.

That said, since Obama prolly only has a few more months in office unless things dramatically change around, I wonder what you guys think he should (not can, should) do about the dismal job's situation. How do you bring back manufacturing jobs that aren't even coming back? How do you hire more teachers and cops when everyone's anti-big government? Other than healthcare, exactly where is the private sector job growth going to realistically come from? Does America simply need to accept its new, long overdue economic reality, or is there something that can be done, and now, to fix all this?

Play ArmChair Reagan™[1] and give your solution below?

Question: How would you fix this?

[1] No need to lie. There's no point whatsoever in this ArmChair Ronnie thing, I just found that photo and it needed to be used pronto.

Laugh Break - Mark Simmons.

One of the funniest comedians I've ever seen in person. This set might not prove it, but this dude is hilarious.

Sign Up For AverageBro Fantasy Football Pick em' 2011 & Win Cool Free Stuff!!!

If there's one thing I know about my readers, it's that ya'll love free stuff. Some of ya'll also love NFL football. So, in the spirit of giving back to this online community, I present AverageBro Fantasy Football Pick em' 2011!

Pick em' leagues are simple: Log in each week and choose the winner of each game during the NFL season. That's all! No need to buy NFL tickets to play.

Even better, the winner of this year's league gets a cool free AB.com Prize Pack, with an amount-to-be-determined cash prize and a bag full of random sh*t that's been sent to me for review. Yes, this can all be yours!

Registration is quick and easy, via Yahoo! Fantasy Sports. Just click here, set up your account. Use the following info to find our group...

Group ID#: 5688
Password: averagebro

May the best picker win!

The One Thing Everyone Can Learn From Katt Williams' Anti-Mexican Rant.

Yeah, it's "catchup" time. You gotta hear about all the stuff I missed last week.

Comedian Katt Williams on Saturday partly walked back an apology for making insensitive remarks to a Mexican member of his audience, telling CNN that he is not sorry for what he said, but apologizes to anyone who thought he was being hateful.

"I meant what I said and I said what I meant," Williams said, referring to his back-and-forth with a heckler during a performance a week ago.

A written statement apologizing for the remarks had been released by his publicist on his behalf this week, but the comedian said that it didn't come from him.

Video of the exchange, delivered during a performance at the Celebrity Theater in Phoenix, was posted online. Williams singled out a man seated near the stage and asked him if he was Mexican.

"Do you remember when white people used to say 'Go back to Africa,' and we'd have to tell them we don't want to? So if you love Mexico, (expletive), get the (expletive) over there!" Williams said to the man.

It turned into a back-and-forth profanity-laced argument with the man, Williams exclaimed, "We were slaves, (expletive). You just work like that as landscapers."

But Williams told CNN that as a comic, he cannot apologize for his uncensored thoughts during a show.

"That's for the Tracy Morgans of the world," he said.

Here's the performance that got Williams in trouble. Brace yourself for an onslaught of F-bombs.



Katt Williams stopped being funny a few years ago when he got into that pointless comic-battle with the equally unfunny Steve Harvey. Then dude went through a series of very public battles with drugs and Johnny Law. A few weeks back there was a video (same club/night?) circulating of him getting into a fight at Young Jeezy concert. I didn't know people still paid to see Katt Williams in concert, but I suspect this incident isn't gonna help his "comeback". His reign on the top was short like leprechauns. Or short like Katt Williams. Take your pick.

Williams rant was indeed racist, indeed ignorant, and indeed, unfunny. I cringed as I watched the audience chanting "USA! USA! USA!" but given how unfunny he is, maybe they just partook in some libations to soothe the pain of the money they'd blown. I'm not sure what Williams' excuse is, nor do I wish to hear it. Either way, I could only imagine this incident is gonna hurt his pockets, and the weedman doesn't take IOU's[1], so he is doubly screwed.

If there's any takeway for all of this from this harrowing incident, it's Comedy Club Rule #4,080: Never heckle the comedian!!! It's almost like effin' with animals at the zoo. You're not gonna win, under any circumstances. He with the mic wins be default.

Question: Should Katt Williams have to issue a genuine apology for this? What's your take on his routine?

[1] Not that I know personally.

AB's Random, Not-So Deep, Post-Vacation Thoughts.

I'm back. And I got a few things on my mind.

The Trip - We had a great time celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary sans kids. And I got a Yaphet Kotto Tan right about now. You should see it.

Airline Baggage Fees - What's up with this? Airlines claim they don't want you to carry heavy bags because of the safety risk they might pose to the plane itself. But if you're willing to pony up $49 per bag, f*ck safety, load em' up. Yep, makes plenty sense to me.

Obama's Toast - I was on a total and complete media (and technology) fast while out of the country, so I didn't see August's dismal jobs numbers until today. I think we all need to agree on a couple of things. 1) The non-tax money in Obama's first Stimulus Package helped prop up the economy by helping state governments tide over their payrolls and providing contractor jobs for infrastructure spending. 2) There will be no second Stimulus Package, which essentially means Obama is fresh outta ideas. I can't see any logical reason why unemployment will be below 9% at this time next year, and thus, while the thought of a GOP controlled White House, Senate, and Congress makes me break out in hives, it's practically inevitable at this point. So basically, we're all screwed. Accept this as fact.

NFL Kickoff - Who ya'll got winning it all? I say Pittsburgh vs Green Bay in an epic Super Bowl rematch. BTW, I also got a Pick Em' League coming again this year. Just gimme a minute, it'll be set up and ready for registration sometime today.

The Blog - Don't expect anything new or notable this week. I basically have 2 weeks of work to dig myself from under. We'll be Open Mic-in' it for a minute.

Question: What's on your mind today?

AB.com Open Mic Monday.

I'll be back tomorrow. Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind today?

Laugh Break - Tony Woods.

Short, but funny set from one of DC's finest.

AB.com Open Mic Friday.

Here's the open mic. Enjoy your weekend.

Question: What's on your mind today?

Laugh Break - Michael Blackson.

Ok, so need to lie. This guy isn't always funny, and this isn't his best set. Laugh anyway.