AB.com NewsBriefs - Pre-Politricks Fast Edition.

[Editor's Note: I said no politricks next week, and I meant it. I am taking a much-needed breather from all this nonsense, but before I go, here's a few topics I need to get off my chest.]

Like School On A Sunday - President Obama hits Notre Dame University this weekend, amidst what will likely be hundreds of protesters who vehemently disagree with his stance on abortion and stem cell research. The folks at Notre Dame are certainly entitled to their opinion, so I won't knock their dedication (albeit loosely enforced) to their Catholic principles. The classy thing would have been for Obama to pull out, and allow the school's administration and alums to duke it out. Instead, he'll go there, just days after another embarrassing PR snafu in advance of his address at Arizona State University.



The US Naval Academy is next. Notice a pattern? Out of all the schools that requested Obama for their commencement programs, two of the three he chose are causing headaches. Should gone to a black college, Barry! Then again, if I just pulled $73M in funding from HBCUs, I might not show my face at Grambling either.

ObamOsmosis Don't Work - Your tax dollars just were burned on a National Science Foundation study that showed what any moron could tell you: black kids are not automatically closing the achievement gap just because Obama is in office. "Studying college students from across the country, they find that when black students are prompted to think about Obama before they take a challenging standardized verbal test, their scores did not improve relative to white students' compared to when they did not receive the prompt. And they did no better than black students not prompted to think about Obama." Well no sh*t Sherlock! It took a PhD to figure that out? Next time, just read AB.com and save yourself (and us) the time and money.

Pelosi Gets Gully - I haven't seen a person that publicly defensive since Marion Barry's infamous "The B**** Set Me Up!" zinger.



But let's be real here: they need to drop this whole "war crimes prosecution" nonsense. Yeah, Pelosi knew. Yeah, Chaney knew. So did Condi. They all did. If you open this can, you'll suddenly have 535 new jobs to fill. Just let it go, learn from the mistake, don't waterboard anymore and move on. Enough already.

Mama McCain Better Fall Back - So, Roberta McCain decides to clap at the GOP's HNIC, Rush Limbaugh, saying "I belong to the Republican Party. What [Limbaugh] represents of the Republican Party has nothing to do with my side of it. I don't know what the man means, I don't know what he's talking about.", and agreeing with Magic Mike's assertion that Rush is only an "entertainer".



Expect the public apology/retraction/backpedal in 4.3.2...

Flip Flops - First he waffles on Gitmo. Then withdrawal from Iraw. Then the release of those torture photos. Now, Obama's reviving the Bush-era practice of Military Tribunals. Who the hell is advising Barry, Dick Chaney? Is there a fine line between "changing your mind upon further deliberation" and "buckling to pressure"? If so, can ya'll tell me what's up with Obama, cause I'm not following.

Please Fire This Windbag Now! - How does Robert Gibbs still have a job?



Question: Are the folks at Notre Dame buggin'? Is Barry waffling to much? Does Mama McCain need to watch her back? Is Pelosi lying? How has ObamOsmosis effortlessly changed your life?

AB.com Guest Post - The Kidnapping Bus Driver.

[Editor's Note: EbonyGentleman is in the hizzouse!]

Quickly, think back to when you were in seventh grade. I'm assuming that most of AverageNation has been on a school bus and experienced the following:

You're riding that old cheesebox on a hot Friday afternoon, minding your own business. Kids are excited that the weekend is upon them and those without home training decide to start acting a fool. Spitballs get thrown. Smacks to the back of the head start flying.

You look to the front and that (insert your old bus driver here) starts to get agitated. He/She looks in that long oval rearview mirror and cuts their eyes at YOU. (Really it's the whole bus, but it always seems to be YOU that they are looking at.)

The Bus Driver (BD) warns everybody to sit down, and promptly points to that old, yellowed copy of the RULES posted on the front panel above the door. This doesn't seem to quell the rowdies, who are illiterate, have ADD and can't seem to understand anything but paddles and suspensions.

You know where this is going. While you are still sitting there quietly, the bus clowns go into overdrive. You can't escape it. Now the idiots are hanging out of the windows, egging for the truck drivers next to the bus to toot their horn.

Your window is stuck and won't open. It's hot, and the sweaty, energized fools next to you don't use deodorant. No 'Speed Stick'. No 'Sure'. NOT EVEN TUSSY. (That's the cheapest deodorant you can find.)

The BD has had it. Something snaps in their mind as they realize that they are stuck in the hell that is a sucky $10/hour part time gig, and a hard third shift mill job waiting for them when they finally finish driving.

The bus comes to a complete stop. The BD stands up, faces everyone and starts a profanity laced tirade that lasts approximately five minutes. Everyone is in shocked silence as the announcement is made:

"I'M TURNING THIS MF'ER AROUND!"

(Translation: "This bus is going back to the school house!")

You are guilty by association and you are PISSED. The principal gets on, makes his/her speech, pulls off the guilty, and then you are on your way home.

Now fast forward to 2009. Same scenario. A bus driver in Ohio took things a bit further. Instead of driving the bus back to the school, this BD decided to drive around for 15 minutes or so instead of dropping the kids off.

A Cuyahoga Falls school bus driver could face possible kidnapping charges after he refused to drop children off when they started to misbehave, police said.

Officers said the Dewitt Elementary School children were being driven home after school on Monday when they started to act up. Police said to teach them a lesson, the bus driver drove the students around for 15 minutes instead of dropping them off at their designated stops.

Police said they tracked down the bus and pulled it over after receiving several calls from frantic parents who were contacted by children on board with cell phones.

The mother of 7-year-old Dylan Henderson said a supervisor ordered the driver to return to the compound. The children were then taken home.

The driver has not been charged but the matter is under investigation. Parents were told by police to contact prosecutors to pursue charges.

This would have worked back in 1989, but now the same rowdies that cause all of the ruckus now have an iPhone. All da kids got an iPhone. Texts get sent, Twits get Tweeted, and parents get Bluetoothed from their bratty kids.

"MOMMY! The bus driver is kidnapping us! We didn't do anything! I'm scared. There is a gun, and....."

Well, there WASN'T a gun, but you know what happens when clueless parents think their "pure, innocent" overly spoiled kids are in danger.

The police get called.

After "several calls from frantic parents", the police located the bus and school supervisors ordered the driver to return to the compound. Now the driver could face kidnapping charges. KIDNAPPING CHARGES!!!

I believe the children are our future, but it ain't looking good.

*Sigh*

Question: Do you blame the driver in this situation for trying to teach the kids a lesson? Should there be a school ban of mobile devices? If this was your kid in this incident, what would you do? Do you beat the rowdy kids for causing this situation in the first place? What are your most memorable bus moments?

Police: Bus Driver Refuses To Drop Kids Off After School [NewsNet5]

Black, White, Or Other?!? - The Incriminating Wallet.

Stereotypes are a way of life in America. We feed into them so readily that they take on a life of their own. But just how well do you really know your racial stereotypes?

Black, White, Or Other? lists a particularly heinous crime/news story, with incriminating bits of info omitted for the sake of confidentiality. Your job is to guess whether the protagonist is black, white, or the omnipresent "other", and to tell why you guessed how you did. The best guessplanation wins a week's supply of Cyber CapriSuns. And yeah, you could prolly Google the news story to find out the race of the person, but what sorta loser does that? Seriously. And if you already know about the story, and thus the answer, sit this one out. Be a good sport. Don't cheat.

Anyways, here's today's entry.

A [redacted] County man charged with robbing a local grocery store and leaving his wallet at the scene was found guilty during a bench trial Monday morning, in Judge [redacted]’s court.

[redacted], 44, who is being held in the [redacted] County Jail was found guilty of aggravated robbery and manufacture or sale of cocaine.

According to court documents, [redacted] came into the Food Lion on Highway 48 on February 23, 2008 wanting to cash a check and purchase batteries. According to the affidavit, [redacted] pulled out a pistol while the clerk was operating the register.

The clerk gave [redacted] $3,500 in $50 and $100 bills from the safe and [redacted] fled the store on foot.

According to a previous report, following the robbery the clerk walked around the cash register and found [redacted]'s wallet lying on the floor. The wallet contained [redacted]'s identification card, and the clerk identified him as the robber.

After the suspect fled the store a call came in from a concerned citizen reporting a suspicious man that matched [redacted]'s description near the [redacted] Road area.

Deputies from the Sheriff's Office and the [redacted] Highway Patrol set up a perimeter and started an extensive search that lasted about two hours, but could not locate [redacted], the report said.

Question: Is the Food Lion Wallet-Dropper in this story Black, White, or Other?