What do the NE Patriots and the Browns have in common?

Going by football betting site odds, the New England Patriots and the Cleveland Browns are as far apart from each other as CM Punk and MMA credibility. However, these two teams have at least one thing in common, and it’s the fact that both will have burned through three QBs is as many weeks, or less. The Pats’ Tom Brady obviously has not set foot on an NFL gridiron so far in the 2016 regular season, but he’s nevertheless bull goose quarterback and his shadow looms large over backup Jimmy Garoppolo and third-tier QB Jacoby Brissett.

Speaking of whom, Garoppolo threw 18 of 27 for 234 passing yards and three TDs in New England's 31-24 win over the Miami Dolphins before he left in the second quarter with a right shoulder injury. Enter Brissett, who went 6 of 9 passes for 92 yards, and led the Patriots to a touchdown on its first possession of the second half. Now, whether Brissett will take his turn starting under center for the Pats, or Garoppolo will return has yet to be seen. When asked about Garoppolo’s health, New England head coach Bill Belichik said “I’m a football coach. I’m not a doctor. The medical staff is the medical staff. I coach the team. The medical people handle the injuries. They don’t call plays, I don’t do surgery. We have a great deal there. It works out good.”

So there you have it; this is the type of scoop one doesn’t usually find on a football betting site. Bill Belichik is in fact not a doctor. He’s also not a bricklayer. The Pats shouldn’t worry, though. Even if Garoppolo’s injury is serious, and even if something happened to Brissett, they can always fall back on ‘Fake Brady.’ So Tom Brady is just a dummy? I know, but he sells tickets. Actually, if Fake Brady is anything like Fake Sting, New England fans better cross their fingers that either or both Garoppolo and Brissett hold out until week 4 of the regular season.

As for the Browns, the football betting site’s underdogs continue their revolving door of quarterbacks, of which at this point they have had more than Spinal Tap has had drummers. Coincidentally, Belichik was Cleveland’s head coach the last time they had a big name QB in the legendary Vinny Testaverde. That was in 1994, the last season before the Browns disappeared for three years. Since 1999, the Browns have had 25 starting quarterbacks. This season has already seen two; Robert Griffin III – by the way, if RG3 ever launches an acting career, don’t tell him to break his leg, he just might take you up on it – and veteran Josh McCown. With those two injured, rookie Cody Kessler is set to take the mantle, and the Browns have just signed veteran Charlie Whitehurst to be his backup. Whitehurst last stepped foot on the gridiron in 2014, when he went 105 of 185 for 1,326 yards with 7 TDs and two interceptions in seven games – five of which he started – with the Tennessee Titans.

Mayweather will “move on” after McGregor fight failure

It would have been an offshore betting dream come true, but to the surprise of absolutely no one, Floyd ‘Money’ Mayweather told FightHype.com, “I tried to make the fight happen between me and Conor McGregor. We wasn't able to make the fight happen, so we must move on.” He added that “I feel honored to be the biggest name in MMA and in boxing and I don't even compete no more.” Presumably, Money will move on to continue fighting both grammar and reality. Back in August, McGregor said he was interested in the fight as long as Mayweather could “come up with the $100 million cash he needs to fight me.” The Irish brawler said he had “Floyd running around the Showtime [Network] offices gathering my money.” I’m willing to believe the “running around” part.

Speaking of McGregor, he won his rematch versus Nate Diaz, despite the latter’s, err, strategy. According to Joe Rogan, who “saw Nate at the grocery store randomly,” Diaz “was falling on purpose to dupe Conor.” Yeah. And CM Punk was doing the ol’ ‘face-to-fist style.’ Thankfully, he got choked out before he could try ‘my-nuts-to-your-fist style.’ All of this is to say that McGregor is under contract with UFC, and any potential fight versus Mayweather would have had to either involve a cross-promotion or Dana White’s blessing – though he’s already allowed inside the octagon someone who had no business being there, so why not another?

Surely, Money can’t be serious, though? Actually, he is serious, and don’t call me Shirley. To prove that his heart is just not in it, Mayweather is giving up on the McGregor fight only a few months after the idea was planted in fevered mind of the most extreme of offshore betting fans, whereas he hyped his bout with Philippine senator Manny Pacquiao for an unbelievable six and half years. That ranks right up there with Axl Rose in levels of teasing. In fact, they could have named that fight Chinese Democracy II. Later they based a movie on the ordeal. That’s what Grudge Match is about, right?

One has to wonder how serious Mayweather was, though. White repeatedly said Money never contacted him about making the fight happen. Knowing Floyd, he probably called Scott Coker instead. All things considered, it was all most likely a cry for attention, and if it was, it succeeded in spades – so much so that both Amir Khan and Canelo Alvarez follow the lead and challenged McGregor to fight. And sadly, it was for realz and not in the only environment in which that might make sense – a UFC videogame. “It's so crazy that when I talk about fighting Conor McGregor, you've got so many other fighters that's in boxing that wants to fight Conor McGregor. I was the first, once again,” Mayweather said. In some ways, it is a shame – not the least in offshore betting terms – that Money and McGregor didn’t agree on this one. But then, many things don’t agree in Floyd Mayweather’s world; for example, subject and verb.

Just How Bad Can It Get For DC Sports?!?

Living the the Capitol of the Free World for the past 20 years has been awesome. Washington, DC is routinely rated one of the best regions in the country, and I can co-sign that. The restaurants are world-class. The parks and museums here are great. The weather is moderate. The people are diverse. The economy is practically recession proof. It's a lovely city that only seems to get even nicer by the year.

One huge downside of living here (beyond the traffic and cost of living) is the pro sports teams. To put it lightly, they just plain suck. The Redskins are far and away #1 on the local pecking order, but even they find their home games typically invaded by visiting team fans and it's not a stretch to say 40% of the fans here root for the Cowboys. The Caps have postseason losing in their DNA, no matter how good they are during the regular season. The same could be said for the Nats, who rack up plenty of wins until October rolls around. The Wizards are a non-freakin' factor, a moribund franchise that's basically pissing away the prime of John Wall's career and practically begging him to leave when his current contract ends. Nobody cares about the Mystics, DC United, or the Valor. And the Valor haven't even started playing yet.

I've often found myself envious of vastly inferior cities, just because they're won titles recently. From Cleveland, to KC, to Pittsburgh, to (ugh) Baltimore, plenty of not-ready-for-primetime cities have recently won it all across the 4 major pro sports, but DC can't catch a damn break. It's enough to make me visit a list of online sportsbooks and bet the farm on the Jacksonville Jaguars to win the Super Bowl and take whatever I win and move to Canada.

Heck, depending on how this election goes, I might be heading there soon anyway, aye.