Last night's "groundbreaking" Democratic Presidential debate, sponsored by CNN and YouTube was supposed to be an interactive forum that allowed real life people to upload 30 second questions for the the candidates. It was supposed to be revolutionary, combining the technology of the Internet to pull in younger viewers.
Yawn.
Like many seemingly great ideas, this one was better in concept than execution. Because CNN had to predictably try and allow questions that "reflected the true face of America", we were shuffled in a somewhat stereotypical cast of questioners: a duo of manly looking chicks asking about civil unions, a "fresh out" looking cat posing a question in embarrassingly broken English about reparations, a couple of broke looking sistas asking about help for the poor, sullen Midwesterners querying about the war. Also, there were more than a few submissions that seemed to feature professional actors and were so slickly edited that you wondered if there was something fishy going on. With the exception of the reparations question, which failed to connect with the candidates, all of the questions were typical fare for such a debate, which seemed to negate the whole point. Its almost as if host/moderator Anderson Cooper was given the night off.
Yawn.
So, in the spirit of New Hampshire, here's my candidate by candidate recap, since you probably didn't bother Tivo'ing this. I'm sure it's all over on YouTube if you want to catch up, but hey, you probably have better, more exciting things to do like itemizing tax receipts, or watching paint dry, or something.
Joe "Don't Call Me Budden" Biden - The scent of desperation is unmistakable. He's speaking his mind, and making an occasional good point, but let's keep it real, he's a dead man walking. If hailing from tiny Delawhere didn't help him, that unfortunate "he's so clean" comment about Obama has probably long since sealed the deal. Also polling in the low single digits. - 3 CHADS
Hillary "My Swag Was Phenomenal" Clinton - As much as I cannot stand this woman (for lots of reasons), she is the master of this domain. She is the front runner, and with a commanding 15 percentage lead on Obama, the woman oozes swag. Her swag is phenomenal, like Gilbert Arenas. Maybe one of these days, after one of the early primaries when it becomes evident that its her or Rudy, I'll switch teams. But for now, I just can not embrace this woman as the next President. And I don't really know why. - 5 CHADS
Barack "The Magic Negro Veneer Is Wearing Thinner" Obama - I'll be honest, I'm beginning to wonder if Barack isn't better suited for Vice President, or just remaining in the Senate for now. After delivering fiery oratory, heck, making his name off fiery oratory, it's puzzling why he completely nuts up during debates. When confronted with the simplest of questions, he stumbled, diverts attention of the issue with "dreams of my father/audacity of hope" type vignettes, and when re-posed the question (something Cooper was pretty good at), still danced around it. People, for better or for worse, expect quick, applause inducing soundbites during a debate, not a meandering speech about "the vision for one America" or some such crap. He needs to come off the campaign trail for a weekend, and attend Rev. Al Sharpton's "Punchline and Soundbites Seminar". This ship, despite how well funded, and optimistically reverenced, be sinkin'. Quickly. - 1 CHAD
Dennis "Space Cadet" Kucinich - Give this man credit, he is willing to make bold promises that could never, evar, in a million years be delivered upon. Such is the case when you know you have no real shot, but can guarantee yourself another 3-4 terms in Congress just because your hometown (Cleveland) craves the attention. With a stature as diminutive as his single digit polling, Kucinich is the proverbial underdog, which endears him to the very audiences that wouldn't vote for him if Bush was running again. Dude was the only one on record to promise reparations, full blown gay marriage, and an immediate pullout of troops from Iraq, with no residual deployments. He's also got that brand new Biggie album, and some beachfront property in Akron for sale. Call him delusional, call him out there, just don't call him boring. - 3 CHADS.
John "Pretty Boy" Edwards - I'll be the first to admit, since I read about his $1200 haircuts, I've been a little distracted. However, I like Edwards for the same reasons I liked him in 04'. He's genuine, he speaks his mind, and he seems to be humble enough about the things he doesn't know to admit as much. I'm happy to see that his wife seems to still be in good health, because they'll need each other once he drops out of the race in February. In a perfect world, the weather would be sunny and 72 with a slight breeze everyday, the Wizards would win the NBA title each season, and people would see a return to The Best of Bill Clinton (compassion, intelligence, humble roots) in him, rather than in Hillary. Sadly, such a place does not exist. - 4 CHADS
Bill "Hey, I'M Hispanic" Richardson - Bill seems like the guy you'd most want to have a beer with, which makes him the George Bush of this class. Sadly, the historical significance of him running as the first Hispanic (sorta) evar is obscured by the fact that he has worse odds of winning than J-Lo. Or Ron Paul. Either way, despite having some great ideas, Bill is the proverbial Nice Guy, and we know where they finish in the polls. This guy deserves better. - 2 CHADS
Mike "Angry White Man" Gravel - I feel pretty bad for this guy. He was completely left out of the entire first hour of the debate, except for some sparring with Obama over campaign finance. He seems to have a sizable chip on his shoulder, and I understand why. By hour two, he was fuming, only to be cut off by Anderson Cooper mid-sentence, and hit with a question that regurgitated an old quote he said about Vietnam vets dying in vain. For an angry white guy, veins bulging and eyes watering all night wasn't a good look. Of course, since he is polling at less than 1%, maybe Cooper was doing the right thing by keeping him on the sideline. But then again, if they didn't want to include him, he shouldn't have been invited. Few of his points really resonated, simply because he was too damn angry to make any sense, but I give the guy a sympathy point. - 1 CHAD
Chris "The Butcher" Dodd - Sorry, but as much sense as this guy makes, with his snow white hair and multiple chins, all I can see is a butcher at Safeway, not Leader of The Free World when I look at him. Plus, he's polling in the negative teens, so he had about as much chance as AverageBro, which is to say, none. - 1 CHAD.
Winner: Clinton
Step Yo' Game Up: Obama
Don't Be Mad, UPS Is Hirin': Gravel
Full CNN/YouTube Debate Replay [YouTube]
