AverageBro NewsBriefs: Hollyweird Edition

The Day Job has me on the road this week in sunny Minneapolis, MN, home of 1000 Lakes, Kirby Puckett, Prince, and the infamous Larry Craig bathroom. Since I'm actually, you know, working during the day, here's some stuff that's not worthy of a post, but you might wanna know anyway.

Isaiah Loses Case, Amazingly Keeps Job.

To the surprise of few, The New York Knicks organization and coach Isaiah Thomas lost their sexual harassment suit and will have to pay former executive Anucha Browne Sanders a cool $12M. I guess it's good that this sad affair is finally over and we can now focus on NBA training camp, but man, if there were ever a better example of When "eff' a settlement, let's take it to court" Goes Wrong, I'd like to see it. The carcasses of Stephon Marbury's rehabbed image, Thomas' scouting talent, and black-male female relations post-Hill/Thomas litter the highway of decency.

Eddie Winslow Is a Simp!

Remember weeks ago when I told you SuperHead was allegedly engaged to someone famous? Well, turns out the victim/trick is none other than the cat who played Eddie Winslow on the 90's Cosby Show ripoff, Family Matters. I hope the brother has penicillin and a strong pre-nup, because there's no way this one is ending nicely. Carl Winslow is crying inside.

Britney Spears: White Girl Lost

Too the surprise of nobody, Hollyweird courts ruled that Britney Spears had to relinquish complete custody of her two sons to ex-husband Kevin Federline. It's a sad case of motherhood when the judge says a serial impregnator responsible for "PoPoZao" is more fit to raise your kids than you. Britney Spears makes Susan Smith look like June Cleaver by comparison.