[Really Long Editor's Note: AB.com ain't the only blog I read of course. There's lots of other good stuff out there in the black blogosphere, and one of my favorites is BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com. My man TheDad and his wife (TheMom) explore the his/hers PoV of various relationship issues on the daily, which isn't really a perspective you get to hear very often. The site's all about uplifting the black family, which as you might suspect, AB is all for. It's the kind of mature blog I'd like to write one day when I grow up. And yeah, that post title is a rhetorical question.]
On Monday, Will Smith told talk show host Ellen Degeneres that one of the reason’s that he and Jada were able to stay married for so long (10 years and counting) is that divorce is not an option for his marriage. Will stated:
What I found is divorce just can’t be an option,” the actor explained. “It’s really that simple. And I think that’s the problem with L.A. – there are so many options. So a huge part of the success for [Jada] and I is that we just removed the other options.”She Says - I think it is all about attitude and your state of mind. Like Will states, if we are going to be together, then we should be happy. If you really believe that divorce is not an option for your marriage, then you will do what it takes to make sure that your marriage is happy. You will be willing to work on it.. even during the most difficult of times. So it’s more than just saying the words….it is also living it. You can say the words all you want..but if you are being abusive or if you are cheating and you are doing these things repeatedly…then your actions show that divorce is an option.
The secret to their success? “We’re like listen, we’re going to be together one way or the other so we might as well try to be happy,” he said.
Personally, I believe that divorce is not an option for my marriage. But deep down, I know there are some things that I feel are unacceptable.
He Says - I’m down with this statement and generally apply it in my marriage. Of course if someone were to really abuse you and the relationship you need to get up out of there but in general divorce is not an option. Really I think that if everyone kept that in mind there would be less cases of divorce. I personally think in today's society divorce is an easy way out of not working on your marriage, on your communication and on your commitment. Even when TheMom gets on my last nerve I just whisper to myself … “TheDad, divorce is not an option” sike I’m just kidding with that one yall, just a jokey joke don’t tell TheMom. But back on a serious note I went into our marriage with that thinking and hold onto it still.
Question: Is it reasonable or even feasible to say divorce is not an option? Are there certain situations where divorce would be a better option than staying married? Do you believe that divorce is not an option for your marriage? Does this mean divorce is not an option no matter what happens in the marriage?
Divorce Is NOT an Option!! [BMWK]
Will Smith: 'Divorce Is Not An Option' [People]
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