WorkPlace 101: The Stankin' Co-Worker

You know him. You hate him. You might could be him, but I pray you're not cause that would be really triflin' on so many different levels.

That's right party people, I'm talkin' about fonky assed co-workers.

Every office has that guy whose breath, armpits, or assorted nether-regions smell like hot trash on a hundred degree day. And my office is no exception. We actually have two of them though.

The first guy is named Dikembe[1]. He is from Nigeria, and smells like he hasn't bathed since he left the Motherland, which wasn't exactly yesterday. His feet are the stereotypical "jumping jacks in a bag of Gold Medal" that you come to expect of some of our sistren and brethren. Was that mildly xenophobic? Sure. But you should see the Mount St. Helens level of ash on this cat's ankles. He needs to take a few baths in Eucerin.

Worse, Deke's breath is legendarily bad, but he (much like Office MotorMouth Stanley) is pretty good as his technical niche, which means sometimes you can't avoid going to visit his office if you really need the answer to a question. And unfortunately for me, since his area of expertise is one I know little about, this means I'm down the hall at his place more than I'd like. I always emerge with the desired answers, and far fewer nose hairs.

Perhaps worse is Pfong[2], another co-worker who seems to have no concept of his personal hygeine or lack thereof. Again, I know I'm toeing the line of xenophobia yet again here, and I'm aware some people's religious or cultural customs might be at play. But still, how can you not smell your own ass? I know he can. And since he can, how can he not be completely repulsed to the point of exhaustion. I can literally smell this cat the moment he pulls into the parking garage.

Even Dikembe walks past his office and is like "what the f*ck was that smell?".

Unlike the first in this series, I don't really have any point in posting this one, so consider the question merely a suggestion, while I duck outside for some fresh air.

Question: How do you typically deal with co-workers who have less than stellar personal hygeine?

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[1] Not his real name.

[2] Not his real name either. I love my Day Job and my home. I'd prefer to keep both.