AB Is Live Blogging Election Day!!!

I'll be "live blogging" periodically throughout the day with my observations from the polls, the latest voter suppression efforts, and reaction to the state-by-state returns. History is truly being written on AB.com today, so check in for periodic updates and leave your comments.

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11:03pm

CNN just called the race! Kisses, hugs, and tears all around the house! Gimme a sec to digest all this. I am going outside the dance in the street!

10:58pm

The party is slowly dissipating. I don't see the victory speech happening before 1am. NC and VA are still in shambles. What's up with this?

Roland Martin looks like a guy knows his girlfriend is about to dump him after the prom. CNN scaled him back after the Democratic primaries, now he is headed to the unemployment line. I hope TV One is hiring.

10:52pm

Obama thumped/waxed/drug/ethered McCain 92% to 8% in DC. Cue the cliched regional theme music.



10:50pm

To fill time, CNN is forced to "beam up" rapper Will.I.Am of the Black Eye Peas using their newfangled technology. Anderson Cooper looks like he's quietly dying inside.



And I will loudly die inside if I ever hear that friggin' song again. Arghhh!!!

Would they just end this already? Sheesh.

10:45pm

Just saw John King's 3D US Captitol in hi-def. After one Obama-tini and a Heineken, that is officially creepy technology at work. CNN clearly blew the load on bling.

10:42pm

I'm officially calling shenanigans in NC and VA. There's no logical reason for the results to be taking this long. This ain't friggin' Florida, it's North Cack and V-A. Count the effin' ballots already!

Something is very very fishy. Mark my words.

Ditto for Lake County, IN. Man, I can already smell the litigation.

Ted Stevens is leading in the polls in Alaska. The GOP is officially pathetic. This prolly says more about Alaska than it does the party, but what does all that say about Mrs. Sarah then?

10:30pm

3 hours and change after the polls closed and no results in NC, VA, or IN. Something is hella fishy here. CNN is providing no answers. We need to change the channel.

Obama is way ahead in FL and you know CA is going to him. Ricky Davis just conceded the race himself.

10:09pm

This picture says it all.
Toast.

10:00pm

In a fit of excitement, I jumped up and spilled my Obama-tini all over these white folks' computer my work laptop. Thank goodness it didn't ruin anything but my sweatparts. The show goes on.

9:58pm

AverageSis says McCain might not even crack 100 electoral votes. I think that's a stretch, but it's likely that this turns into a historic landslide.

What does all this say about America? That's we're "beyond" race? That good guys do finish first? That 'dirty' campaigns are a thing of the past? Or simply that Bush was the worst Prez evar? I'm sure the pundits will weigh in with some theory, but the decisive manner of the victory tells me this is something bigger than just an election.

I've been loathe to call this a "movement", because I hate that word. But anyone who pulls those sorts of crowds and wins by this big a margin is clearly bigger than just a politrician.

This is going to be hard for some people to take I know, but the majority of America has spoken, and they've elected a "bitter", "American hating", "elitist", who "pals around with domestic terrorists". Again, a tough pill for some to swallow, but get used to it or get gone. I hear Vancouver is nice.

9:46pm

I predict Sarah Palin will be less than gracious when she concedes, assuming they even let her hatin' arse talk. McCain will lay on the accolades and fall back like a true soldier. Someone just said they turned off the televised returns at McCain HQ.

Lights out. Literally.

9:43pm

CNN's John King, who clearly is a McCain supporter, is sorrowfully conceding the race to Obama, unless lightning strikes twice on a Tuesday night. JohnnyMac has to win every remaining contested race.

"I can't get him to 270. Not even a miracle could."

Toast.

9:42pm

This is still kinda surreal. A black man as Prez will prolly take months to sink in. Seriously, as recently as 3 years ago this concept was little more than a punchline.



My wife had a bit part in this movie since it was filmed in the DC Urreah, mostly in Baltimore as usual since it's cheaper there and all you need from DC is the street shots. Her scene got cut out of the theatrical version. She was so pissed we've never rented to DVD to see if it made it there in the extras. So, maybe she was in there. It was a lousy movie anyway.

9:32pm

The only way this could get better would be for Obama to win my home state of North Carolina. Virginia would be icing on the cake.

Back on CNN for good now. No more Fox News. Those guys are just sad.

And as someone already mentioned, I commend Spool for being a good sport. This has to hurt, but dude is still showing up for the thrashing.

We're thisclose to going over 100 comments for the first time evar.

CNN is panning the crowd in Chicago. Hundreds of thousands already in place. The McCain party looks like an interment.

9:29pm

I am celebrating with my first (of certainly many to come) Obama-tini of the night. Fox has Obama with 200 already. McCain is way behind. The whole network appears to be on suicide watch.

9:18pm

Someone asked about those Cabbage Patch dolls pictured above. They were made for charity and went for a grip on Ebay. Here's more pics. Yes, they made a Biden doll, complete with yarn plugs. How authentic.



I'll just say it, them are some ugly dolls.

9:06pm

Vanilla Latte says I should thank Hillary for smearing Obama to the point that McCain had nothing left to pick over but party talking points and garden-variety xenophobia. Good point, VL. Enjoy your Cyber CapriSuns.

9:04pm

I tuned to Fox News just out of curiosity. It looks like a funeral there too. Hatin' ass Brit Hume looks like he's about to choke on his lunchtime porterhouse. I am loving this so much I am going to Tivo Fox News so I can delight in this moment for weeks to come.

Not surprisingly, Fox has the race much closer than any other channel.

9pm results coming in now. Obama is up 174 to 49 right now. Barry has it locked up.

Still nothing from NC, VA, IN, or GA yet.

8:55pm

Hagan beats Dole handily in NC Senate race. This bodes well for Obama in my home state.

Go Tarheels! Go Barry!

Lots of polls close in 5 mins. This could be officially over in 15 mins.

8:51pm

AverageSis says she's a bit sad for McCain. He clearly sold his soul and ran a tasteless campaign to try and win. It didn't work. Now, his lifetime of service is forever tarnished. He is a two-time loser who will be known as having run the most negative campaign (maybe 2nd, behind Hillary) in modern history. And, horror of horrors, he lost to a black guy. That has to hurt.

I don't really feel bad for him though. He did this willingly. He could have run a noble campaign and lost nobly. He didn't.

Now he'll have to watch Palin run in 2012. That has to hurt even more.

8:45pm

Okay, now that it's over, lets talk about something superficial. I thought Obama's outdoor rally in Chi-Town was over the top. 1 Million people all together in one place is just doing it too big. But AverageSis says this is how the Obama campaign rolls. They aim to be larger than life. Thus, the outdoor rallies of 70,000+, Invesco Field, roman columns, and now, Grant Park.

That's gonna be a massive photo-op when Barry takes the stage with the Chicago skyline behind him. That photo will hang in black households worldwide.

8:40pm

CNN just called Pennsylvania for Obama. This baby is over!!!

Dana Bash just said the mood in Phoenix is conciliatory. John Mac is readying his speech.

Spool, put down the gun.

8:33pm

Watching the RNC Election Night PartyCam on CNN.com. This is pretty sad. There's about 300 people in some hotel ballroom listening to some covers band playing "Brown Eyed Girl". Nobody is really dancing. It looks like a repast.

Libby Dole is getting spanked in NC. Good! That's what you get for inferring that your opponent was "godless". How pathetic.

Can we agree that the GOP's blueprint smears are now ineffective? It's time for a new tactic, fellas. Folks are tired of that attacking sh*t.

The fat lady is sangin' "Lets Take, A Long Walk". Warm up the bus.

8:20pm

David Axelrod is on CNN with Wolf Blitzer. This dude must have an ego the size of the grand canyon now. He's sold not one, but two qualified black candidates (Deval Patrick to Mass Governor) to majority white populaces.

Axelrod, you da' man!!!

Someone says MSNBC just called PA for Obama. I'll believe it when I see it in the bible on CNN.

Dems are loading up on Senate seats too. Man, this could get very ugly.

8:14pm

The McCain funeral has begun. The delegate count is 77/34 Obama right now, but no real surprises yet. McCain is trailing Bush's 2004 numbers in most precincts however.

Somebody check Spool and make sure he's not near any sharp objects.

AverageFam is here. My brother (AOB) , his wife (AverageSisInLaw), and their 4 year old son are in the hizzouse. Loads of KFC and grape soda are being imbibed. Yes, we are black. Yes, it is very good. Don't hate.

Stay tuned. I suspect one of the battleground states is going to break soon. Start the death knell.

Quick shoutout to IndyBob! Stick with us and invite some friends over to join the fun.

7:49pm

Polls in 15 states and DC close by 8pm. Otherwise, nothing much is really happening right now. More cool graphics from CNN, lots of field shots. No new results.

Obama is waaay ahead in FL, and trailing by respectable margins in VA and IN. Neither state's "urban" centers have reported their numbers yet, so both should be considered in play.

Stay tuned.

7:20pm

Hot damn, now CNN is just showing off. They just unveiled some newfangled technology that shows you remote correspondents (like Jessica Yellin in Chicago) from the field, somehow "beamed in" via hologram so it looks like they're standing in the studio beside Wolf Blitzer (who is in New York I think. Maybe it's DC. Who knows).

Of course they chose the thin and shapely Jessica Yellin to try this out with first. Candy Crowley? Not so much. Still, pretty slick stuff.

Now, back to the polls. Looking for Indiana, Virginia, and other states to come in soon. This could be over by 8pm.

7:05pm

Kentucky goes to McCain, Vermont for Obama.

Mark "Watching Paint Dry Is More Exciting" Warner won the Senate seat in Virginia. This seems to bode well for Obama. Democrats in both Senate seats, plus the Governor. The writing is on the wall.

We are going to keep it locked on CNN all night. I can't even entertain Fox News' negativity, and MSNBC is still in standard definition, which makes it utterly useless. I will give CNN some credit, they have really stepped up their graphics game. Soledad and some old guy are working some cool video board that drills down on the particulars of their exit polls. Slick stuff. Money well spent.

Roland Martin needs a shape up. Tara Wall seems to have taken Amy Holmes' Angry Black Anti-Obama Chick role, and looks good doing it. Jeff Toobin? This cat is black. You can't convince me otherwise. Look at that fro' and Negroid nose/lips. [||]

Bill Bennett is being humble for once. Soledad looks painfully thin for a woman with ethnic blood. Wolf Blitzer looks lost as usual. Anderson Cooper is doing lots of squinting. Alex Castellanos looks like he's swallowing his own tongue. James Carville doesn't look very healthy. Everyone is wearing about 5 layers of makeup. I guess you have to do that for HD.

Maybe it's just me, but I've seen these folks more than my own family over the past 11 months. Enough already.

6:22pm

No Results Party. Weather and late voting are turning everyone off. McCain leads early returns in KY, no real surprise. Indiana will be the litmus test.

80% turnout in PA, 75% in MO. Take that as you wish.

CNN is reporting LOTS of issues with voting in VA, specifically the Tidewater Area and Richmond, where there's lots of Negroes. Machines are breaking down, voter registrations are missing, and lines are crazy long. Hang in there, my peoples.

6:01pm
Indiana and Kentucky just closed. Results coming shortly.

On an interesting note: CNN's exit polls show 72% of new voters nationwide voted for Barry. Cue the "ominous tone" music for McCain.

5:50pm

AverageToddler is up, and he wants his Daddy. Daddy is stepping away from the live blog. I sure don't want my boy in therapy 20 years from now behind this sorta negligence. See ya'll in an hour or so once the big returns start rolling in.

5:49pm

CNN is showing the site of Obama's rally in downtown Chicago's Grant Park. They are estimating a million people will show up tonight, win, lose, or draw. Wowzers, this has to be some record, right?

Imagine the crowds in DC the day he gets sworn in. It will put the Million Man March to shame.

On the flipside, John McCain is hosting an intimate gathering for a few dozen friends at the Biltmore Spa in Arizona. Yeah, that's a scene tailor-made for a pathetic and sad concession speech if there ever was one. Then again, I've actually visited The Biltmore for a business lunch and it's a freakin' lavish place, clearly suited for a multimillionairess and her Senator hubby. So at least McCain will sleep on some quality thread count sheets tonight. That's gotta be some concession, right?

5:26pm

Another protest vote? Apparently before his nap, AverageToddler went into the guest bathroom and unravelled a whole roll of toilet paper all over the floor and toilet. I just discovered this a moment ago. The kid is still napping, but I wonder if he's trying to send Daddy some message with all this defiance today. Does he dislike live blogging, and want his Dad's attention? He's about to wake up, I'd better make sure he gets some face time from me. Once the results party begins, it's a wrap.

5:19pm

Wow, I've been at this for 12 hours now! Woo Hooooo! Amazing how time flies when the kids are sleeping and you're still high on Red Bull. When I finally crash, I will crash hard. Hopefully it will be a pleasant sleep following an Obama win, not McCain/Palin nightmares.

Keep the comments rolling in. Let's set some new record. 100+, let's do it!

5:15pm

I'm watching CNN. They are delivering their "exit poll" info, and it looks bad for McCain. 50-some% of folks said the economy was issue #1. 9% said terrorism. Yikes.

She ain't exactly my type, but I must say, in the larger-than-life splendor of 50 inch HD Soledad O'Brien looks freakin' amazing! Dana Bash? Uhhh, not so much.

We're trying to finalize plans for a "Results Party" tonight, but with the weather and some peeps still voting, who knows what'll happen. You might catch the entire AverageFamily on this jawn tonight. I might even get real tipsy and post some party photos. Stay tuned!

4:35pm

The kids are waking up soon, so I hope ya'll have enjoyed this blogging explosion. It is coming to an abrupt end the moment AverageNewBaby wants his milk-milk.

Ya'll are leaving lots of comments, but few that have anything to do with my commentary. I've putting up good stuff here! Read it and respond. I know everyone is anxious to write Spool32's McCain's political obituary, but what about meeeee!?!?

Show AB some love. Read this live blog and talk about something, anything, you see in it. Please.

Signin' off for the moment. Baby is calling.

4:21pm

I am watching Michelle Malkin on Fox right now, discussing the Black Panthers. She doesn't know sh*t about sh*t. I officially hate her. Seriously, she wouldn't get the time of day if she weren't a minority and moderately (I said moderately) attractive. I have never considered punching a woman, but she might could get shaken pretty voilently.

Here's her getting slapped around a few times, just to brighten your day.









If you're offended by what I just typed, go stick your head in an oven visit some other site. This is AB's World. I don't owe Michelle Malkin sh*t!!!

4:20pm

Chew on this one...

109 Year Old Daughter of Slaves Votes For Obama

I am too masculine and brolic to even follow that link because crying is not a good look, but you gotta admit, win or lose, this has been very good for the country.

4:18pm

When Obamania runs wild...



4:15pm

So, Miss Sarah is finally vindicated of all charges in the Troopergate scandal. Score one for the Mavericks, three if it's Dirk shooting.

Wrong.

It was "it was up to the Alaska Personnel Board to decide if she broke any laws and that body has ruled that there was no breach of the state's ethics legislation", so this should be end of story, right?

The problem: the Alaska Personnel Board is comprised of folks Palin handpicked herself to rule on the case. An earlier ruling by a bipartisan group found Palin guilty as sin.

But seriously, who cares anymore? She's last year's news.

4:10pm

So, this is supposed to be "voter intimidation"? Seriously?



Really? Come on, watch the tape.



Thembi, what's this all about? Ciara, care to explain?

Fox News says this is "the Black Panthers" in Philly. To me, it looks like two random Negroes in leather jackets. If this is intimidation, then my son and I have been intimidated 5-10 times already today.

Just 8 more hours. Just 8 more. Hold on, folks.

3:50

Speaking of folks who'll benefit from an Obama White House: Black Obama Bashers stand to come up more than ever. Conservative media will need to bash Obama, but they'll need loyal Negro foot soldiers to spew their venom and deflect claims of racism.

Let's not get it twisted: I have been critical of Obama during the campaign and will be even more critical when he's in office. There's no such thing as "lettin' it slide" when you're running the country. I hope and expect him to do a good job, but I'll get in that arse when he doesn't. You don't grade Presidents on a curve, unless of course you're a Republican and we're talking about George Bush.

So, let's not get it confused, these guys I'm about to name aren't critics. They are, pure and simple, hired haters.

Here's the folks who are lining up for the coveted Barry Hatin' Negro gig:

1) Michael Steele - Dude is already a fixture on Fox News and always walks the party line. He has no future in politricks after getting his arse handed to him in the MD Senatorial race, so why not look for a media gig?

2) Kenneth Blackwell - See Steele, Michael.

3) Juan Williams - He already sorta has the gig, but the more he gives credit to Obama and keeps up his poorly veiled feud with Brit Hume, the more likely he is to be out of a gig. Tighten up, Juan.

4) Amy Holmes - Much like Jamal Simmons, she was more or less disposed of by CNN after the Dem nomination was secured. She isn't the brightest bulb in the socket, but she looks good on camera. Give her a gig.

5) Angela McGlowan - She's like Holmes, with even less knowledge and half the looks. I don't see her working anymore.

6) James T. Harris - James' meteoric rise to the top continues with an on-air audition all week with Fox and Friends. I could see him on a "panel" type show, or as a regular contributor, but he isn't well versed enough to have his own show.

7) Tara Wall - Cute, but vapid.

Who am I missing? Tell me in the comments.

3:40pm

It's now raining and very gloomy in DC. I sure hope this doesn't stop folks from hitting the polls after work. I already smell the built-in excuses.

3:36pm

All the conservative hand-wringing over a possible Obama Presidency is comical to me. Beyond the immediate disappointment of losing the race, this will be a virtual 4 year field day for talk radio, bloggers, and Faux News. Seriously, they are back to being victims of liberal propoganda. They can do their favorite thing, bitch, all day, and actually have some meat/reason behind it. What's not to like? I would wage that an Obama Presidency would be the best thing ever to happen to guys like Rush and Hannity.

Does it undermine the "strength of their movements" to a degree if the guy they slandered for months actually wins? Sure. But folks who hate Obama will need a place to gather their talking points, and folks like Glenn Beck and Michael Savage will be in demand as never before.

Seriously guys, imagine the possibilities. New yatchs for everyone. Spread the wealth!

3:22pm

What do you talk about on an election day when you're intentionally dodging all forms of political media? Why, rap music of course.

I don't care for this new Busta Rhymes song, "Arab Money". Well, let's be honest, the Ron Browz track is a banger, and the song's inventive enough to show Bussa Bus still has it. I even like the stoopid dance, mostly because even a dude like me with 2 left feet can pull it off.



But something about the "Arab Money" chant just seems very polictically incorrect to me.

I mean, seriously, what if somebody came out with a song called "Kike Dollars", or "Spic Scrilla", "Chink Change", or God forbid, "Pickininy Pocket Lint"? Negroes or all colors would be up in arms, and the NAACP would have already issued a press release.

I guess Middle Easterners either have better things to worry about or just get no respect. For for a guy who is a member of the Nation of Five Percent, you'd think Busta would be a tad bit more sensitive to such things.

Okay, maybe not.



3:03pm

I am looking forward to "getting my blog back" once this is all over. I've been on this Barry 4 Prez tip the past 18 months. It is wearing on me and I can't wait for it to end, win or lose. Watching all these unsavory characters has added 10 pts to my systolic pressure.

Besides, this ain't a political blog. Talking politricks has gained me the most notoriety, but it's hardly what I'm all about. I look forward to more pop culture crap, Negro Nonsense, and general greasy talk very soon. I hope ya'll stick with me.

3:01pm

Man, TV sucks. I am trying to avoid watching any cable news until 6pm at soonest for obvious reasons, but it's hard. There is little on but B-grade judge shows and telenovellas. Where's Netflix when you need it?

On an unrealated note: I am going to try replying to comments here in the live blog since I can't keep up with all them and do this, and watch the kids at the same time. I ain't that good.

3:00pm

AverageSis just voted. She was in and out in 3 mins flat.

2:57pm

Hey, did anyone else know Allen Iverson got traded yesterday? How'd I miss this?

Carmelo Anthony apparently cut off his braids in protest. He should have just cut them on GP. Cornrows are sooooo 98'.

2:55pm

They say hitting a baseball is the toughest task in sports. Passing the bar isn't easily. Lots of folks get stumped by Sudoku puzzles. But for my money, there is no harder job than getting a 25 month old and a 1 month old to fall asleep simulatenously.

Yes, I am The Man.

2:21pm

I know that whole "Wardrobe-gate" thing shook poor Sarah Palin a bit, but this is crazy. Now, intent on solidifying her Hockey Mom image again, she is reverting back to her own closet to find dudes for the trail. Now she's gone from Neiman Marcus back to PTA Mom and looks a hot mess.



Seriously, Mom Jeans? WTH?!? And the song they're dancing to is called "Redneck Woman". Could you imagine Obama playing Apache's "Gangsta Bitch" on the trail? Me neither.

Only 12 more hours before the carriage turns into a pumpkin and Mrs. Sarah is merely the flipside of a Trivial Pursuit card. Lovely.

1:43pm

As a guy who shorted his first son and went back to work early, I truly feel blessed to have taken a month off work for AverageNewBaby. The bonding time cannot be replaced, and it's great that my employer gives me 2 weeks, and my boss was willing to let me take another 2 for vacation.

That said, I wonder when some politician will get around to making paternity leave a national priority. FMLA provides women with maternity leave protection on their jobs, but men get no such guarantee. The state of California gives men a whopping 6 weeks with 6 weeks of partial pay, but other states are scattershot or leave it up to the employer.

For the record, the United States is one of only four countries in the world do not offer some form of paid parental leave. The others? Liberia, Swaziland, and Papua New Guinea. Great company to keep, guys, great company. Even most of Africa, for all it's flaws, offers 2 weeks with 100% pay to dads. Simply amazing.

For a party that's all about "family values", it's amazing that the GOP has never gotten behind this. Then again, they're about "less government", except when it pertains to a woman's uterus. I don't see it anywhere on Obama's agenda either, but if the gov't is serious about strengthening families, this wouldn't be a bad place to start.

Just the 2 cents of a loving father. Man, I will hate going back to work Monday. Arrgh.

1:33pm

As a person who lost his Dad on the eve of what was then a massive personal accomplishment (albeit not as big as the Presidency, but still big to me), I could only imagine the mixed feelings Obama will endure as he delivers the big speech in Chicago tonight. That's gotta be tough, but a win prolly helps. Like my Father, I have little dought thast Obama's grandma will be smiling from West Heaven, win or lose.

If you think what I just wrote was corny, go stick your head in the oven. You have no human emotions.

1:28pm

Now AverageToddler is protesting his mac & cheese lunch and not eating. First breakfast, now this. Perhaps the kid is on some Obama-fast that he isn't telling me about. It's getting on my last nerves, I know that much.

1:25pm

I think some of you might have mistaken my earlier note about Obama thanking Black America. I obviously don't mean thank Black America at the expense of all America. Nor to I expect Blacks to get any special treatment should Obama get in office. This has nothing to do with that.

I guess if nothing else, acknowledging the history he is making and the sacrifices of those that came before him would be enough. That's all I'm asking for. Don't treat this like it's "just another election". It isn't. There's no need for him to hold back on this like he did in Denver. Revel in your history, Barry. You did it.

1:19pm

I was out running some errands with AverageToddler and drove by my polling place again a few mins ago. There was no line. If you're looking for a good time to ditch work and go vote, this would be it. The lines will surely be bananas come 5pm when everyone else tries to go.

Conservative radio talkers are in mourning already and seem to be conceding defeat. Even Bill-O is already talking about what 4 years of Obama will look like. Like many, he is also bemoaning the possibility that Obama might return the Fairness Doctrine. This is complete BS, Obama is on record as saying he won't, but that doesn't stop every GOP talking idiot from using it as a reason to not vote for Barry. Returning to the Fairness Doctrine would allegedly mean the end of Conservative radio as we know it to listen to these guys. As if Obama doesn't have enough other sh*t to worry about.

10:17am

How lame is John McCain's new "Mac Is Back!" campaign slogan. Dude is trailing in erry poll, but apparently "Mac Is Back"? Please. How about "John Is Gone"?

9:56am

Obama held a press conference with "black leaders" yesterday to thank them for their contributions, but I wonder if he'll made a special note to thank Black America for their role in electing him when he speaks tonight. Yeah, I know it wasn't PC to do so during the campaign, but if he's got it in the bag, then why not reach out and say a very pointed thank you to the folks whose backs to rode to office? This doesn't need to be lengthy, nor does it need to come with any promises, but it seems appropriate and timely to do so.

I honestly might feel a tad bit disappointed in him if he doesn't seize the opportunity to acknowledge the moment in history and thank the folks who rode with him. A concession speech is no time to be politically correct or speak in code. Tell us "thank you" Barry, don't hold out on us. What do ya'll think?

9:48am

There's no excuse for this sorta nonsense. I know folks are antsy about the election and all, but why take it out on innocent kids?



What a douche-bag. This chick needs her arse whipped. Somebody send Trick Trick out to Grosse Point Farms.

9:45am

Various news outlets are reporting dramatically increased turnout, even in states that aren't even in contention like MD and NY. This can't possibly bode well for McCain, whose chances of winning are about as slim as my chances of keeping AverageSis off BabyGap.com.

I will make a very bold prediction: The black vote is going to be the defining theme of this election. Barack's solid showing with blacks won him the primaries. The huge turnout of Black voters and new registrations among Blacks are going to have a huge bearing on the final tally today.

I'm sure the MSM won't bother pointing this out since it's assumed Blacks are only voting for Barack since he's Black, but I am willing to bet the final count of Black voters will be astonishing.

9:25am

AverageToddler is staging his own protest vote. The kid is going all Michael Evans on me and refusing to eat his oatmeal. It must be contagious.

8:50am

Let the Obama LoveFest begin. The cast of MSNBC's Morning Joe figuratively fellates the Beige Savior as he and his family cast their votes in Chicago. I'm all for Obama and whatnot, but the constant gushing over him is enough to make even me cringe.

8:15am

Some random Fox News weatherwoman forecasts a mild day across America, which should mean the conditions won't effect turnout. On a related note, she no longer seems to be on Fox, but weatherwoman Domenica Davis has to be the most unlikely weather chick evar? Seriously, look.



I realize this will come off as somewhat sexist, but c'mon, who wears that sorta sh*t to forecast the weather at 9am?

She should be on Telemundo along with this lady.



And no, I had nothing to do with the slo-mo on that clip.

When you mix in weekend jumpoff Julie Banderas, it's easy to see why Fox News leads in the ratings. Journalistic integrity? Not so much. Latina eye candy? Si se puede.

8:05am

Conservative talker/random House Negro James T. Harris is truly pimpin' his 15 minutes of fame. Dude is on Fox & Friends and bashing Obama for "still being an unknown" and "not even releasing his grades from college". Pathetic, but predictable. Still, I can't shake the feeling that this guy is auditioning for the role of "Black Obama Hater", a gig I see all major networks filling in the coming months. Face it, it's easier to have a black guy criticize another black. You can pass off the same vitriol without really being called racist. Brilliant. Stick a pin in this one, I've got a post about this coming soon.

7:50am

Maybe it's just me and only me. I don't particularly care for Eminem, but this new "Welcome To Detroit City" joint with rapper/grownup bully Trick Trick makes we wanna move to Southfield.



If you're not feelin' that song, you either have a stock factory stereo system in your car or should have your pulse checked.

On a related note, enough of these "Welcome To [Insert Your City/State Here] hip hop anthems already. I listen to enough mixtapes to deem this trend officially dead. Come on, I heard some bamas rappin' "Welcome To Omaha" on a mixtape the other day. Enough already.

7:45am

Now that I've left the polls, something just occurred to me: I wasn't asked for ID. MD doesn't require this, only verification of address and you're free to cast your vote. I know this varies by state, and was the focus of a notable NAACP kerfuffle awhile back. Personally, I think the possibility for fraud is low (you'd have to know the actual address of the fraudulent registration and still wait in a long line), but I still don't like it a bit.

I also cast my annual Protest Vote, vs Congresswoman Donna Edwards, who is actually already in office thanks to some shady maneuvering and an expensive special election that was held last Summer. AverageBro.com has at least one vote!

7:35am

Well, that was quick. In and out in less than 30 mins. Getting up early truly paid off because the before-work line is now about 5 times longer than when i can in. Still, the polls out here in the burbs are so much efficient than when my wife and I lived in the barrio back in 2004. We got there about an hour early that year too, and the line was far shorter but it took much longer to vote. So, maybe we will stay in the suburbs after all.

Anyways, I'd' be interested in knowing how easy/hard it was for you to vote today. Fill me in.

6:15am

I'm here. The line is already long, but not "wait 8 hours" long. I should be on the way back home by 8am. But since I got in line 5 mins ago, it has already nearly doubled in size. It pays to be early.

Although the folks in line are largely black (this is the blackest section of a very diverse county) there is no pep band or revelry. Folks are cold and quiet, except for two black women behind me discussing the race. They keep using the word "African American" when referring to Barack, as if they are in mixed company and need to be PC. This naturally makes zero sense to me. I need to tune these chicks out. There are prolly voting for Crazy Cynthia McKinney anyway.

On with the headphones.

6:05am

We are officially off to a bad start. As I sat in my idling car, I noticed something fogging up the windshield. The wipers only made it worse. When I stopped to get my Red Bull, I drove up to the gas pump to use the squeegee, and sure enough, I discovered the culprit. Egg.

That's right, the guy on the block with the prominent Obama poster in his window gets egged. For about the 10th this this year.

Spool, dont talk sh*t to me about no freakin' "liberal bias" until you can keep your folks from destroying my personal property. When Obama wins tonight, I am going to lay in wait for these assholes to return. It's On!!!

Change folks. Vote for Change.

I might need to move back to the hood where people vandalize your car for a good reason.

5:50am

...Not so fast.

Before I leave the house, I have to spend 10 mins picking up the contents of my trashcan, which while sitting curbside overnight was rifled through by some vagrant yet again. This seems to happen with amazing regularity of late, a sign of the times. Yes, people are scouring trashcans for whatever they can get, even in my lily white suburban hood'. The economy is just that effed the eff up.

Change folks. Vote for Change.

And a bigger trashcan.

5:15am

Well, I'm up. I set the trusty Blackberry alarm for 5:00am, awoke, took a shower, and am headed to my local polling place which is a high school that has more students than Wasilla has residents. You betcha.

The goal is to load up on Red Bulls, grab a paper and prepare to wait. My hope is that getting there an hour before polls open will allow me to get in and out. I will come home and AvgSis will tag in, then go vote herself. Somebody has to keep the chill'rens.

The temp here in DC is a seasonal 55 degrees already with a forecast for rain late in the evening, which means the weather shouldn't be a factor in VA. No excuses in The Commonwealth. Show up and represent.

Unlike the Redskins, who didnt represent and got their clocks cleaned by the Steelers last night. I knew Jason Campbell was gonna turn back into Jason Campbell sooner or later. Arghh. Yep, I am totally off the bandwagon.

On to the polls...

12:50am

I'm sleeping right now. This post auto-published. Cool huh? I'll be up at 6am to hit the polls early. Check back then.