Steele {answering phone} - "Hello. Michael Steele, GOP H.N.I.C. speakin'."
Rush {breathing heavily} - "..."
S - "Who dis?!?"
R {breathing heavily} - "..."
S - "Darnit Mike Tyson, if this is you calling again for that $20,000 I owe you, I told you I'd get you back when Fox sends my latest check!!! Quit harassing me!" {hangs up}
{phone rings again}
S - "Yeah."
R - "Chairman Steele?"
S - "Yeah. Who dis'?"
R - "This is Rush Limbaugh, Mr. Steele."
S {spits out venti carmel macchiato, nearly choking with fear} - "Yes, Mr. Limbaugh. Uhhh, how's the weather down there? They say a bad day in Florida is a good d..."
R - "Enough of the pleasantries. I heard you were talking sh*t about me this weekend on some CNN show!"
S - "Uhhhh, it's all just a big misunderstanding. I was up there with DL Hughley and Chuck D, and I got a little carried away, that's all."
R - "Really. You called me 'ugly' and 'incendiary'."
S - "Actually, I didn't technically say that. DL said it, and I just repeated back what he said."
R - "That's not how the tape looked to me, Mike."
S {backpedalling} - "See, what had happened was..."
R - "Listen here, punk! You and I both know you wouldn't have that job without Obama. You need to help me take him down, not prop him up. Your livelihood depends on him failing."
S - "Well, I don't want him to fail, I want America to succeed regardl..."
R - "No, you want him to fail! Miserably. If this works you are out of a job."
S - "I guess you have a point. But, hey, won't you be out of a job too?"
R - "Are you kidding me? I made $33M last year! I'm good. You're the one who needs to worry about paying off Mike Tyson."
S - "How do you know about that?"
R - "I know far more than you think, nitwit. And I'll tell you what. Cross me publicly one more time and you'll need to pray everytime you walk to your parking garage."
S - "No, please, don't."
R - "Well keep your semi-beige ass in line then. I am the H.W.I.C. of the GOP! I could crush you!"
S {whimpering} - "Sometimes, a n*gga get.... confused."
R - "Enough! Call Hannity and apologize tonight. And don't let this happen again."
S - "Yessir."
R - {click}
