It's simple: wrap it up, and don't get married until after you retire. Period.
If you're a pro-athlete, racking up Wilt-Chamberlain style numbers with groupies is just as much a benefit of the job as getting paid millions to bounce or catch a ball. Still, baller after baller finds his hard-earned salary ruined by unwanted babies and scorned spouses who've never had to do two-a-days in 98 degree weather, yet still get half (or more) when things inevitably go South and end up in court. And all for what? Nothing.
Sure, it's cheaper to keep her, but it's free if you don't even get her in the first place.
Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade is in the midst of what's looking to be a very messy divorce from his childhood sweetheart. This guy, who always strikes me as a few footlongs shy of a Subway, didn't follow the AB's Rules For Ballers, and now not only finds himself, but the woman he left his wife for, in some deep legal doo doo.
Adding to an already contentious divorce battle, Dwyane Wade's estranged wife has filed a lawsuit, claiming his relationship with actress Gabrielle Union is causing her and the star Miami Heat guard's two sons emotional distress.I hate divorce just as much as the next happily married man, but something about Mrs. Wade's lawsuit rubs me the wrong way. Personally, I hate it when people throw their kids in the middle of something that's essentially an issue between husband and wife. There's also the niggling fact that Mrs. Wade's tossed out a number of lawsuits, including the curious liber case against her former best friend. It would be easy to look at this whole thing, and conclude that this lady too, is a few Sammies shy of a Quiznos herself.
Dwyane Wade called the lawsuit "baseless and meritless," and Union issued a statement insisting the allegations are false. Siohvaughn Wade filed the suit in Chicago this week, the latest chapter in the lengthy, often-nasty divorce saga between the former high school sweethearts who separated in 2007. She and Dwyane Wade had two sons, ages 8 and 2, who are listed as plaintiffs.
The lawsuit alleges Union "engaged in sexual foreplay" in front of the boys, which "severely inflicted the Plaintiffs emotionally and mentally." It also claims that the boys received "medium size gifts" from Dwyane Wade for Christmas last year, while Union got "the biggest gift of all."
"Defendant has played sexually explicit roles, including roles as a seductress," the lawsuit reads. "Defendant has apparently decided to take her role beyond the films and into the home of a married man, Dwyane Wade, in the presence of his two minor children." Damages in excess of $50,000 are being sought by Siohvaughn Wade.
The suit also alleges that the Wade's oldest son has suffered from anxiety, manifesting itself in "significant hair loss causing bald spots" and that the younger son "is suffering from feelings of rejection and depression."
Siohvaughn Wade also recently filed a libel-slander lawsuit against former friend Andrea Williams, who claimed in a deposition that Mrs. Wade bought a man she was romantically involved with from 2004 through 2007 a car and a motorcycle, threatened to find a gun and shoot Dwyane Wade, and voluntarily entered an Illinois hospital to deal with anger-related issues.
That said, while I can understand her desire to end this marriage and gain full custody of her children, suing the woman who allegedly "stole" your man seems real stoopid.
Newsflash, Ladies!: Nobody can "steal" a man that didn't wanna get stolen.
I'm not just saying this because I still have a grown-man crush on Gabrielle Union, and really don't care much for D-Wade. I'm just sayin', if you can sue jumpoffs for supposedly takin' your man, where's the limit?
For all interested parties, especially the kids, I hope this nasty custody/divorce battle doesn't get worse, but something tells me it will. And to think, if D-Wade had just worn and condom and waited a few years to settle down, none of this would have ever happened.
Question: Does suing your spouse's adulterous fling for "emotional distress" make any sense to you? If this is indeed a valid lawsuit, doesn't it open the door to all sorts of frivolous cases of "emotional distress"? Why don't athletes just use a rubber and wait to get married?
Siohvaughn Wade files lawsuit [ESPN]
