Probably The Corniest Movie Scene Evar, From The Corniest Movie Evar.

The seminal 1979 film The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh holds a lot of sentimental value with me. My Pops (RIP Daddy) used to literally make my and my brothers watch this movie everytime (every. time.) it came on Home Box Office[1]. I thought it was corny then, and when I saw it playing on NBA TV the other night, I thought it was corny still. And yeah, I tried (unsuccessfully) to get my kids to watch this with me. You know, on some circle-of-life sh*t. They wanted to see Ni Hao Kai-Lan instead.

Kids nowadays.

If you've never seen this movie, I'd recommend Netflixing it. It's so horrible, it's actually good. And no scene typifies the awful greatness of this movie better than the infamous playground scene where Dr. J seduces a sweet young paramour with some signature dunkage.



Let's examine the pure terrible brilliance of this scene, shall we?

The woman tells Dr. J she's concerned about him influencing her little brother to play ball at the expense of studying. He replies to her by... wait for it... dunking, of course. Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

This bama is dunking in slacks and dress shoes.

What's up with that music. It's great, but it has nothing to do with the scene.

Clearly this would have been better accomplished as a bonin' scene. I mean, the slow mo, slow music, and dunking of the ball as about as sexual as you can get.

Well, she looks satisfied. Eff' the little brother.

Bonus Clip: Here's the championship game team intros. Some NBA team should try this. And that music for LA is freakin' awesome!!! I also love how they're just called "The Los Angeles Team". No Lakers. No Clippers. No Kareems. Just "The Los Angeles Team". Gangsta. BTW, anyone else catch the hip-hop sample here?



Question: Do you remember The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh (whoa whoa)?!? Got any other particularly bad movies your parents forced you to watch?

[1] It's not TV, it's Home Box Office.