Thursday, April 5, 2012

Ashy Or Classy?!? - Mary J. Blige Is Sangin' For Burger Kaing Fried Chicken.

I'm not a rich guy, nor am I famous. In some strange way though, I am an endorser of certain products because I run a blog that tends to attract advertisers. Advertisers with money. I don't need to remind you that we're in a capitalist society, and while I certainly do blog for the feedback, reality is my PayPal balance children cannot eat web hits.

"Get Money."

I often find myself conflicted when running ads for certain products/services here. I generally don't run an ad I find ethically troublesome. Yes, there are gambling ads here, but I play PowerBall, so whatever. I have been approached to run ads for items and services I don't agree with. From payday loans (no ma'am) to pRon (this is a SWF site, so no), I've had to turn away a fair amount of money for many reasons, but hey, it's not always about the money.

Which is why I'm wondering what the hayell Mary J. Blige was thinking.
“Crispy chicken, fresh lettuce, three cheeses, ranch dressing wrapped up in a tasty, flour tortilla,” Mary J. Blige sings in a new Burger King commercial that premiered on Monday. But after some controversy on Twitter the ad has disappeared from YouTube.

According to rumors, Blige earned an estimated $2 million for the ad. Other celebrities in the campaign (who’s videos are still live on YouTube) include soccer star David Beckham, Jay Leno and, in Spanish-language ads, actresses Salma Hayek and Sofia Vergara.

Award-winning campaign writer and producer Thembisa S. Mshaka also points out Burger King gave Blige the “short end of the chicken strip” making her “rude” and having her sell the unhealthiest item on the menu. (Other celebrities are pushing items with lower calorie counts.
In case you were wondering, no. I have no issue with Mary pushing fried chicken strips. I like fried chicken. Correction: love fried chicken. I also like running 5Ks. It balances itself out. Whatever. Mary seems to be in rather good physical shape for a 40something, so it's not like she's promoting unhealthy living or anything. So, basically, whatever. This isn't MC Hammer doing that coonish' typewriter dance for KFC popcorn chicken.



So I got no issue with the chicken.

Nope, my problem is the ad itself. To put it nicely, Mary both looks and sounds awful.



Aw-ful.

For someone who has always been critiqued about her inability to actually sing[1], Mary sounds alarmingly bad and off-key here. Why is she dressed up like Tina Turner in Mad Max? Why does she cut the manager off? Why is the manager dancing, as if this spectacle isn't already absurd enough? Why, why, why?

Well, okay, I know why. For two million bucks, I would dance in a fried chicken suit. Hell, I would rename this AverageChickenEatinGreasyLipSmackinBro.com for that amount of money. Sheeeit, I might do it for two stacks. Or racks. Or whatever the chil'ren is sayin'.

Still, Mary, you played yourself. This was unnecessary. Why not just re-release My Life or What's The 411? and spare your dignity and our eardrums. I suspect Mary got a whiff of the final edit, saw how bad this looked, and asked that it be pulled.

No doubt, this one's Ashy. And Greasy.

Question: Ashy or Classy?!? Is Mary's BK fried chicken ad worth the $2M? Why did the ad get pulled?

[1] Conveying emotion and pain through song (which Mary does exceedingly well) is not the same as being able to sing. Beyonce can't convey emotion, but she can sing.

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