Slick Willie Says: "Vote... (For My Wife) Or DIE!!!"

[Vote... Or DIE!!! Week Begins]
Well, Iowa is just around the corner, which means AB.com will hit you with clearly biased fair and balanced analysis all week long. Keep it locked.

The latest polls show Edwards gaining momentum on Hilary and Obama, which is really no surprise. Edwards did well in the Iowa Caucuses back in 04', and given his "middle American Dream" back story, it's somewhat of a surprise that he hasn't polled better to date. Don't call it a comeback, or a surprise if this cat slides in and either wins or knocks someone off as runner up. Stranger things have happened.

Speaking of stranger things, The Original Black President is out shilling for 8 more years of freaky dekey interns his wife and talkin' extra greasy. Since things are tight and that whole "Obama The Dope Man" angle didn't take off, Slick Willie is digging deep into the GOP trick bag and warning poor Iowans that a vote for Obama is a vote for your own impending grizzly death.

No, seriously.

Former president Bill Clinton yesterday delivered in stark terms a version of his wife's central campaign message: that her experience in Washington better prepares her to "deal with the unexpected."

Addressing more than 100 supporters at a VFW hall here Saturday, Clinton used the strongest language he has so far in the campaign to describe the threats facing the nation, making an oblique reference to the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, and saying that the "most important thing of all" in selecting a nominee is the question of who could best manage unforeseen catastrophes.

"You have to have a leader who is strong and commanding and convincing enough . . . to deal with the unexpected," he said. "There is a better than 50 percent chance that sometime in the first year or 18 months of the next presidency, something will happen that is not being discussed in this campaign. President Bush never talked about Osama bin Laden and didn't foresee Hurricane Katrina. And if you're not ready for that, then everything else you do can be undermined. You need a president that you trust to deal with something that we will not discuss in this campaign. . . . And I think, on this score, she's the best of all."

"How we meet those challenges will determine whether our grandchildren will even be here 50 years from now at a meeting like this listening to the next generation's presidential candidates," Clinton said in Plymouth. He did not elaborate on what he meant by the prospect of the audience members' grandchildren not being there in 50 years.

Hot damn! Dude basically is saying a Vote For Barry (or Edwards) is a death wish for your children's' children.

"We talkin' bout' primaries. Not a general election. Primaries. We talkin' bout' primaries."*

You'll remember a few years back that Dick Chaney played the whole "Bush Or Die!" card to trump up fears of national insecurity under a less-experienced candidate. Never mind the fact that said less-experienced candidate, John Kerry, actually served in Vietnam while Bush Jr. was a football cheerleader and chronic draft dodger. And never mind that fact that Hillary has been in office 7 years vs Obama's 3 and Edwards' 6. Hardly a huge difference in overall experience.

Then again, desperate times call for desperate measures. The Obama love child has yet to surface, and the Edwards love child story did surface, but fizzled.

Either way, Thursday will be interesting to say the least. Stay tuned.

Warning of Threats, Clinton Sells Clinton [WaPost]

* Click here just in case that one went right over your head.