The AB.com RNC Night Two Recap: G.O.P. = L.A.M.E.

Man, I tried. No seriously, I tried. But after a couple of hours of the GOP Convention I've had enough.

I mean, come on, what decade are these folks living in? I know the Republicans are the party of Lincoln, but seriously, ya'll couldn't hire some token Negroes to fill the expanse of empty green seats? None? Surely there are some starving black students over at Saint Paul College. I know this because I saw some with my own eyes when I was there last Winter.

It got so bad that AverageSis and I were playing "count the Negroes" at one point, and couldn't make it past 7 without seeing the same folks over and over again.

Last week's convention in Denver looked like a white dude's Freaknik. This week looks like an Amway gathering. I mean that with as much respect to Amway as possible.

Wasn't Brian McKnight available again? Michael Steele can't be the sole black face, surely. Instead, I see lots and lots of the party core: plenty of middle aged guys in cheap suits with cheaper combovers. Change we can believe in, indeed.

The rare brotha you see looks halfway embarrassed to be there. Seriously, watch when they pan the crowd. There's always that look of trepidation and discomfort, like they're just bracing for some dumb idd'ish to jump off.

Between the lack of color, the dry speeches, and the overdose of Americana, a brotha can only take so much before the itchy Tivo finger kicks in.

Here's G-Dubbz scintillating 8 minute speech, obviously tape delayed live from DC. Watch this cluster if you need a sleep aid.



"...My Mom and My Dad. And I Love You A Lot."

Man, Latarian Milton could have delivered this 3rd grade speech.

Well, at least The Shield is back. I bet the GOP had something to do with planting that wise diversion as well.

Bonus: Here's CindyMac and Laura Bush speaking earlier in the week. How many combined Xanax tablets did these two consume to pull this off?



Question: Are you watching the GOP Convention? What do you think about Bush's driveby address? How many Negroes did you count? Was Bush's speech prerecorded because he was watching The Shield season premiere too?