Don't Drop The Soap, Gil.

The Feds don't play. Gilbert Arenas just found out firsthand.

Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas was charged Thursday with felony gun possession, a crime that carries a maximum five years in jail and a fine, authorities said.

The charge was announced Thursday afternoon by the U.S. Attorney's office for the District.

Arenas's attorney and prosecutors had been negotiating a plea deal during the day and it was not immediately clear whether the filing of charges was a part of the deal. Court officials said they had been told to prepare to have Arenas in Superior Court on Friday.

The U.S. Attorney's office alleged that on Dec. 21, Arenas "did carry, openly and concealed on or about his person, in a place other than his dwelling place, place of business or on other land possessed by him, a pistol, without license issued pursuant to law."

The guns became an issue after Arenas and Wizards teammate Javaris Crittenton got into an argument after a card game and Crittenton allegedly said he should shoot Arenas in his surgically repaired left knee, sources have said. Days later on Dec. 21, after a practice at Verizon Center, Arenas placed the guns on a chair next to Crittenton's locker with a note that said "pick one."

A grand jury began hearing testimony in the case on Jan. 5. But it was not immediately clear whether Thursday's charges came from the grand jury or directly from prosecutors.

I seriously doubt that dude gets a day of jailtime (although he did have a prior gun charge), because good lawyers can usually keep you out the clink, and all things considered, this wasn't that serious a crime. But at the bare minimum, the Monday Morning Attorney in me says this gives the team enough ammunition (no pun) to void the rest of his $116M contract. I mean, seriously, you can't market your star point guard to impressionable kiddies when he's a predicate felon. The team can now cut bait, trade away their other vets, and start over with a fresh salary cap and some high draft picks. I'm prayin' for John Wall.

Arenas will probably be suspended for the rest of the year while he does his probation, and be re-instated in time for next season. If all goes well, he'll end up on some Western Conference team (Phoenix is a good fit on paper) and still recover some of this money. After all, the guy is a combo guard who was averaging 22/7 when he got suspended. Lots of teams will have a shot at signing him for crackhead prices, and he'll have plenty of suitors. He'll be redeemed. A bit less wealthy, but still redeemed.

It's sad to see one of my favorite players of all time go out like this, but well, a divorce is probably for the better in this case. The guy was a source of lots of sporting enjoyment for me during his time here in DC. He did a dumb thing, and he'll pay, but I'm still a fan. Here's to hoping Agent Zero learns from his mistakes and emerges from all this a better man.[1]



Thanks of the memories, Gil. Keep your head up.

Question: What sort of sentence will the courts give Arenas? What suspension will the NBA hand out? Is it fair for the team to void his contract? Will these Negroes ever learn?

Washington Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas is charged with felony gun possession [WashPost]

[1] As for Javaris Crittenton, the moron teammate who actually did bring a loaded gun into a locker room, I sure hope you enjoy bus rides, cause I hear the D-League has plenty of em'. Good riddance, chump.