It's called Three Brothers And A Mic, and if I must say so myself, it's pretty darn good. You can catch it on Stitcher and iTunes. Subscribe, leave comments, and hit us up.
Monday, December 11, 2017
I Have A Podcast Now. Go Check It Out!
It's called Three Brothers And A Mic, and if I must say so myself, it's pretty darn good. You can catch it on Stitcher and iTunes. Subscribe, leave comments, and hit us up.
What Is The Zero Tolerance Law For DUI?
Every state in America has laws about underage drinking. You have to be over the age of 21 to legally drink. When it comes to teens drinking and driving, the laws are stricter. There are different standards about when a teenager - or anyone under the age of 21 - is considered legally intoxicated. These zero tolerance laws are in place to punish kids who drink and drive more harshly than those who are over the age of 21 and are drinking legally.
The Zero Tolerance laws make it illegal for anyone under the age of 21 to have any alcohol in their system when they get behind the wheel of a car. Zero tolerance means that if you have any alcohol in your system when tested - any from over 0.00 to 0.02%, depending on the state where you are pulled over - you are considered to be under the influence of alcohol, and you might be charged with a DUI. That means that just one harmless glass of wine at dinner can land anyone 21 with a DUI.
Why are there zero tolerance laws?
According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, almost 1/3 of all fatalities in children ages 15 to 20 are the result of a car accident. Of those, nearly 35% of the deaths are attributed to alcohol and driving. These are staggering numbers: alcohol-related car accident fatalities are nearly twice as much for those under 21 as they are for those who are over the age of 21.
In 1995, the National Highway Systems Designation Act required that states consider using 0.02% BAC levels for those who are under 21 and drinking. If the states did not comply, they would not be able to qualify for Federal Aid Highway Funds. Since that is a huge chunk of a state’s budget, all 50 states, plus the District of Columbia, have complied with these “per se offense” laws.
Per se offense laws mean that a police officer does not have to prove sobriety to find someone guilty of driving while under the influence of alcohol. If an individual’s BAC level is over 0.08% for anyone over the age of 21 and over 0.02% for those under 21, then they can be found guilty of DUI in a court of law without any other evidence needing to be present.
When zero tolerance laws first went into effect in 12 of the 50 states, the NHTSA found that there was an automatic 20% reduction in deaths due to driving and alcohol at nighttime for those who were under the age of 21. What’s more, the biggest declines in fatal accidents occurred in those individuals whose BAC levels were 0.02% or less.
What if you are accused of a zero tolerance offense?
If you are found to have a 0.02% or higher BAC, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have any defense against being convicted of a DUI. There are some defenses that an experienced lawyer can use to plead your case. Those can include arguing that the BAC test was not done correctly, that procedures were not followed, or even that the test itself wasn’t compliant with the laws of the state where you are being accused. If you want to ensure that you have a healthy defense, then finding a lawyer who specializes in DUI is your best option to fighting against the consequences that come with a dwi first offence houston, especially for kids under 21 who are being accused under zero tolerance laws.
Friday, December 8, 2017
Can a relationship survive after cheating?
Of course, the trick question is, "How do I know if the relationship is worth saving?" I find that most of my clients already know the answer before they come to my office. But we invest a lot in our relationships, and it's normal to want guidance on a decision as big as breaking up or staying with someone or if you are single you are able to chat with girls online. Here's the catch: I'm not so direct—my job is to steer the conversation and help the couple decide whatever is best for them. But you're not my client, so here's my advice:
My first tip is to stop thinking about cheating in a black-and-white way and instead think of it as points on a spectrum, with flirting on one end and a full-blown, top-secret affair on the other.
Then, ask your partner these questions: Why did you cheat? How did you decide to tell me or keep it secret? Would you make a different choice going forward? Why or how? What has changed?
Although it might feel like a punch in the gut, try to understand exactly why and how the cheating happened. From there you can decide if it seems like it was a good person making a bad choice or a lost person likely to make a string of bad choices. Truly understanding what happened is also the only way to build back trust—which you're going to need if you decide to stay.
Next, you have to ask yourself if this is something you can move past. That doesn't mean you have to forgive your partner or stop being angry. But it does mean you can't start treating him or her like crap as payback, because that's cutting off your nose to spite your face. It's not comfortable to be in a relationship where you're fighting all the time, regardless of whose "fault" it is.
Moving forward also means taking a hard look at your relationship and, instead of blaming your partner, being willing to work on aspects that aren't so great. For some couples, cheating actually brings to the surface issues in the relationship that had been swept under the rug. So it's possible to build a stronger and better relationship after someone has cheated. Yup, I said it.
If, after talking to your partner and being super honest with yourself, you decide to stay together, the next hurdle is telling any friends and family who know about the cheating. (If you didn't tell anyone, great—but you might want to see a therapist to sort out any lingering feelings so they don't set you off later.) This is where shame often kicks in—because we're told that strong people don't put up with cheating, it can be embarrassing to tell loved ones that you're sticking with it. But you know what, find strength in the fact that you're able to trust your own judgment and able to make a decision that is right for you. There is no shame in that.
The problem with the statistics on cheating is that these are just numbers. They don’t tell the complicated story of each relationship and its struggles over time. The numbers don’t know if your partner cheated only once or many times, if he truly regrets cheating or feels no remorse at all, if you have children you want to protect from divorce and if both of you still love each other deeply. So…how can you know whether to trust your spouse again and give him another chance?
These are 3 Signs That You Can Survive an Affair and Regain Trust in Him Again:
Sign #1 – He cut off all contact with the other woman
If you really want to regain trust in your partner you need to know that his lover is completely out of the picture, even if it’s difficult because the lover is a coworker or a neighbor. If the lover attempts to make contact, your spouse should let you know and discuss what to do about it with you. From now on there must be a complete transparency in your relationship. If your spouse agrees to all of this – It’s a very good sign that you can trust him again and save your relationship.
Sign #2 – He Shows Deep Regret
If your partner takes responsibility and shows deep remorse, it’s a good sign that you can start the healing process of your relationship. In many cases the cheater “uses” infidelity as a way to escape and end the relationship. In these cases it probably means that he doesn’t want to save the relationship at all. He must show real pain and guilt about his actions and bad choices. If they don’t, you have to be careful, it might mean that he will do it again and you will end up on the “broken up” part of cheating statistics.
Sign #3 – He Gives You All the Details
If you were cheated on you probably have dozens of questions running around in your head constantly. You also have obsessive and disturbing images of him with the other woman – these alone can drive you crazy. In order to get rid of the negative thoughts and of the affair images you have to know all the details. Most of the time the affair images running in your mind are much worse than the real details of his affair. If your spouse answers your questions and shares the details with you – It’s a great step towards healing and a good sign that your relationship will survive cheating.
How to Survive an Affair in Your Relationship
The most important aspect in salvaging a relationship after an affair is to do it the Right Way. It’s very common to get sucked into a vicious circle of anger, depression, resentment and obsessive-negative thoughts. Though these feelings are very legitimate, they will stop you from healing your relationship and moving on to a better and happier one. Imagine what would happen in your relationship if you knew….
How to erase the affair images from your mind
How to regain your self-esteem and confidence
How to talk about the details
How to know if he will do it again
Exactly what to do and say to save your relationship after an affair.
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