Keep It In Your Pants, Strahan

It's hard to have alot of sympathy for rich guys who cheat and subsequently get taken to the cleaners. Pop culture is filled with examples of men, black, white, and otherwise, who basically lost half their life's worth for a roll in the sack.

The latest high profile example is New York Giants defensive lineman Michael Strahan. His high profile divorce case in Manhattan courts made headlines last Winter, as Strahan's estranged ex-wife Jean aired all his dirty laundry to the press. Among the alleged indiscretions:

Then there was the time, Jean alleged, he secretly videotaped her sister as she undressed only to later allegedly deposit $30,000 in her bank account.

It was alleged he ditched his wife and twin 2-year-old daughters to jet off with his mistresses, one he supposedly called "Cupcake."

Jean Strahan said her husband engaged in an "alternative lifestyle" with his friend, television doctor Ian Smith, after the couple split in March 2005.

For all this dirt, of course the courts sided with the ex-wife. And gap-toothed Mike just got taken to the cleaners.

Michael got taken to the cleaners to the tune of $15.3 million in the divorce (New York Daily News headline: "Wife: 15,000,000, Strahan: 0"). He also had to vacate the couple's 1906 Montclair, N.J. mansion, the one with the 22,000-square feet, 12 bedrooms, seven baths and a garage big enough for 20 cars.

And then there is the nearly $18,000 per month in child support, which will go on long after Strahan, 35, can no longer earn NFL millions. He also was ordered to pay $311,000 in back child support. Plus he owes 91 percent of his kids' private school tuition, payments that won't end until they get out of college in about 2026.

The ruling was even more than Jean actually sought for the less than six years of marriage. The judge wound up giving up more than half of Michael's estimated $22 million of net worth.

Believe it or not, this cat actually did have a pre-nup, but it was supposedly so bad that it was Michael, not Jean, who tried to get it invalidated. So, Strahan is now threatening to hold out of training camp/retire in hopes of forcing the Giants to give him a bigger contract. The obvious reason: this dude has to pay aliminony and child support out the yin yang.

I really hope Cupcake (and Dr. Smith?) were worth it.

Strahan obviously isn't alone. Among the other brothers hung out to dry in divorce/paternity suits are:

Millionaire Attorney Willie E. Gary - $6M total, $28,000 per month -- for 16 years -- to an Atlanta woman who bore him twins after their brief romantic relationship five years ago.

Michael Jordan - Ex-wife Juanita Jordan could possibly "get more than $150 million in a settlement, making the Jorda divorce the most expensive in entertainment history," Forbes said.

P. Diddy - Kim Porter, Professional Baby Mama, plans to file $100,000 monthly support claim against Combs.

Kobe Bryant - Opportunist wife Vanessa is finally ready to bounce, and likely taking half of his $200 net worth, since Kobe Bean didn't insist on a pre-nup.

As much as I hate the final tally (the men inevitably get cleaned out), and I know the court system is partial to women, I can't feel bad for any of the guys above. Each and every one of them (to my knowledge) brought the end result on themselves. And in most cases, they will continue to make money, so they'll hardly be broke.

Still, I can't help but wonder why men with so much to lose bother getting married, or at least getting someone pregnant, in the first place. Clearly, in most cases if you're a high profile man with money, women make themselves available, repeatedly. Unless your name is Andray Blatche, you'll probably be tempted to partake. Thus, with millions at stake, why wouldn't you protect yourself, and your assets?

WARNING: Controversial statement not for the faint at heart coming. Close the browser if you can't take it.

I've always thought that high profile athletes, entertainers, and businessmen should get themselves "fixed". Clearly, most of these guys are doing some serious fornicating, and as if AIDS wasn't enough to worry about, clearly unwanted babies will take you out just as quickly. So, why not get yourself snipped?

In most cases, vasectomies are reversible. So, once you're retired, and fully banked and presumably ready to settle down with that one special lady for the rest of your life, you can simply get yourself un-fixed. Easy enough, right?

Whether you like my idea or not (and I'm sure you'll let me know), you gotta agree: it sure as hell beats losing half your wealth and getting your business aired in the NY Post.

I'm sure Cupcake (and Dr. Smith?) would agree.

Jean Strahan Milks Michael Strahan, Burns Divorce Score Board [Post Chronicle]