AverageBro & Fam Live Blog The BET Awards: Hour One

8:00pm

AverageOlderBro (AOB) Is Here Now.

AOB - TI and Luda on the same stage?

AB - This is like MLK and Malcolm. Ghetto style.

AOB - Right. That was pretty hot.

AB - Katt Williams was supposed to be the host. Somethin or other happened. We get stuck with T-Pain. This is like replacing Jordan with Pete Myers.

AOB - T-Pain made half these bamas careers.

AB - Comparing himself to Whoopi Goldberg? Classic! First Obama shout out.

AOB - He's actually pretty good.

AB - He's funny. Who wrote this monologue?

AOB - He was funny.

AB - Why is 50 Cent dressed like a hedge fund manager? Is this what's hot in the streets now?

AOB - Kerry Washington is tall.

AB - It this turning into an Obama rally? I just went to one yesterday. Don't need to see another.

{Lil' Wayne wins first of likely dozens of awards. No kids in tow. Must not be his weekend. He is already very high though.}

AOB - Jadakiss got a job? He's hosting?

AB - Keep gettin' money.

{Nas comes out to perform "Hero" flanked by some sorta God's Property crew of backup dancers/singers.}

AB - Is this Nas or Kirk Franklin? This sh*t is wack.

AOB - Classic performance, but he needed to put more in his props.

AB - Wack.

{Wu-Tang Clan comes out to introduce an award.}

AOB - Retire, please.

AB - Too old to be rappin'.

AB - Speakin' of Kirk Franklin... Plies!!!!

AverageSis - Where's the set? Everything is so generic.

AB - Plies has two college degrees?

AOB - That's David Banner. But Plies did graduate. He's the most intelligent rapper you'll ever hear in an interview.

AB - That n*gga is actually articulate.

AOB - Rick Ross is a joke. This show is lame. Watching rappers perform to a prerecorded track is a waste of time. Does Rick Ross have a college degree too?

AB - I don't think so.

AOB - Nelly needs to retire too.

AS - This Avery Storm dude can't sing a lick.

AB - Somebody get that vocoder.

8:40

{ Young Jeezy comes out dressed like Barack Obama and starts rapping behind a podium.}

AOB - He stole Nas' idea.

AB - And his budget.

{ Some black clad dancers emerge from the crowd. }

AS - They supposed to be Black Panthers? I like this.

AOB - This is the best performance so far. This is some Public Enemy stuff.

AB - SW-1's.

AS - The opera chick is over the top. I like it.

AB - Steppin' Black Panthers.

AOB - Hot.

AB - Hot.

AS - Hot.

{ Shawty Lo wins some random award. }

AB - Dwarf #10.

AOB - He is called Shawty Lo for a reason.

AS - Ludacris looks like he works at IBM. What's with the image makeover?

8:50

{ The "tribute to ladies of hip hop" segment begins with MC Lyte.}

AB - "Cha Cha Cha!"

AS - Lyte still looks good.

AOB - Yo Yo looks like a hooker.

AS - She needs some spanks.

AB - What's with the hoochie dancing? She is 40! She looks like my aunt.

AS - The Lady Of Rage is still wearing afro puffs?

AOB - Time flies.

AS - She still looks the same.

AB - Salt -n- Pepa!!!

AS - This the' joint!

AOB - They are legends.

AS - Pepa kept the weight off. They look good.

AB - Damn, another Obama tribute. Push it! won't about no damn voter registration.

AS - We know what Push It! means. We got 2 kids.

AB - Indeed. Damn, enough of the Obama shout outs. We get it already.

AS - White folks are gonna be scared off by this.

AOB - White folks ain't watchin' this.

AS - They stayed in good shape.

AB - So now "What A Man" is a prObama song? Please.

AOB - Dang, Spinderella got big as a house.

AB - She is bigger than Rage.

AS - That was hot.

AOB - Not bad.

AB - Not bad at all.