The AB.com RNC Night Four Recap: F*ck The GOP!

[Editor's Note: This post contains some iffy language, unbridled anger, and some pretty bold proclamations. It's also poorly edited and unspellchecked. You've been forewarned.]

It was AverageSis' night to put the baby down, so I tuned in a bit earlier for tonight's proceedings. I probably should have just gone to sleep right along with my son.

Seen and heard on night four:

Cindy McCain delivered her "speech". By "speech", I mean she struggled with a teleprompter, missing words here and there. It was the sort of wooden performance even a 9th grader could pull off. If there's some solace here, it's that at least we know her USC education means she can read. Baking and basic geography? Not so much.



The McCains finally decided to pull their youngest daughter, Bengali refugee Bridget, out of the closet and throw her onstage in the name of "inclusion". Too bad they gave her one of CindyMac's ill-fitting hand me downs to wear.



After Cindy's "speech", they made some adjustments to the stage so it would mimic a intimate "townhall" setting. Never mind the fact that McCain wasn't taking any questions from the crowd, they had to painstakingly draw contrasts between Obama's outdoor speech. You could call this shrewd, but I call it hatin'. As if they wouldn't have shifted to the Metrodome if they knew they could actually fill it, which they can't. Why? Because nobody wants to hear McCain speak. This is painfully obvious because several upper level seats in the Xcel Center are empty.

Anyways, while they work on their stagecraft, the disc jockey plays some music, and we're treated to the 209th episode of White Folks Dancing Badly, a show that somehow never gets old. Do these folks dance to the music, or dance to the words? I can't really tell. Still, watching 50-something women "dance" with 60-something men to Earth Wind and Fire's "September" for the umpteenth time never seems to lose it's entertaining appeal.



Finally, Cotton Hill's arrival is proceeded by yet another tribute to his patriotic service in Vietnam.

[Editor's Note: Hold on to your seats, I'm prolly about to piss somebody off!]

Here's my problem with the GOP version of "patriotism" and "love for ones' country". It seems as if the only way you can satisfy their requirements is to have served the country during a time of war. Period. No other action is even remotely equivalent, and that's pretty flawed.



My version of "patriotism" and "love for ones' country" is different. I greatly respect and admire those who give their lives to protect us. That should never be marginalized.

But don't tell Tina Fey that.



Or Rudy "I married my cousin" Giuliani.



Why did the GOP turn Barack Obama's time as a community organizer into some sorta comedy routine the night before? As if a man who went to Columbia University, graduated high in his class, and then spurned lucrative offers on Wall Street to "serve his community" to the tune of $13,000/year isn't somehow sacrificing for the betterment of his country either. No, he isn't literally putting his life on the line, but dedicating one's life work to improving the lives of others is hardly something worthy of a punchline.



Laughing at someone who "serves his country"? Huh? MLK was a community organizer. I could only imagine the reception he would have gotten.



I took this mockery personally because it's more of less what my life, and by extension, this site, is all about. I give a fair share of my weekends to help other peoples' kids. I coach, mentor, and tutor. I do neighborhood watch. My wife and I have helped teach premarital awareness courses at our church. A group of my friends and I feed the homeless every 3rd Monday. I'm on community watch. I speak at high schools about my Day Job to inspire students to greater levels of achievement.

It's not my "day job", and I don't get paid for it, but a "community organizer" is my mission in life.



People who give their lives to help the poor and less fortunate are somehow worthy of scorn? Yet, these are the same people you refer to as elitists? That sh*t don't add up to me.

How f*cking dare these smarmy bastards (yes, you too Palin) to somehow infer that what's important to me (improving my community and those in it) isn't significant.

F*ck the GOP! Tell them I said it.

I'm sorry for the outburst, but seriously, how f*cking ballsy is it to assume your version of patriotism is somehow superior to mine? If there's one thing I admire about Obama, it's his constant insistence that the government can't do it all for us, we've got to roll up our sleeves and do it ourselves. By offering $4,000 tax credits to students in exchange for 100 hours community service, he's putting our money where his mouth is, in hopes of inspiring a new generation of "community organizers". You would think those sons of bitches who care so much about "less government" would be all for this.

But no, "community organizer" is a joke.

F*ck Rudy! F*ck Palin! F*ck Cotton Hill! F*ck the GOP!

I apologize for the language, but all this smacked me in the head as I watched yet another McCain PoW Circle Jerk. Okay, we get it, you got tortured. Your poor arms. Five and 1/2 year. Ok, point proven.



But what the ham sammich does that have to do with my plunging Roth IRA, my son's plunging 529, $4 gas, skyrocketing college tuition, foreclosures in my neighborhood, and the 84,000 jobs this country just lost last month?

Not a damn thing. Nothing.

I didn't listen to McCain's speech for more Americana, I listened for solutions. I didn't hear any. If you did, please feel free to explain them to me.

Yeah, I'm sorta angry, just in case you couldn't tell. Take The AverageBro Challenge, and prove to these douchebags that you don't have to be a PoW to care about your country.

Question: Did you watch McCain's speech? Were any solutions given? Are you sick and tired of all this "USA", "America", "patriotism" crap too?