Just in case you're curious. AB - Me, AS - My Wife AOB - My Oldest Brother, AMB - My Middle Brother, AA - My Aunt, ASL - My Sister In Law, ABL - My Brother In Law.
11:00pm
AB - She's still talkin? Get off the stage. We need Real Life Tivo for moments like this.
AOB - Aww man, Wyclef has to talk too?
AS - That jacket... awwww, that jawn is terrible.
10:54pm
AB - It's time for the Annual "Debra Lee Tries To Justify All This Bullsh*t" Address.
{Some montage of humanitarian efforts by Wyclef and Alicia Keys is shown. Everyone tunes out. Yeah, we're typical.}
AB - Lil' Weezy, please!!!!
{Alicia Keys comes onstage to give an acceptance speech. She has a zit the size of a crouton on her nose.}
AS - Her makeup looks bad.
AOB - She stole Swizz Beats from his wife.
AS - What wants Swizz Beats?
AA - Who is Swizz Beats?
AB - Weezy, please. Booooring.
10:48pm
AA - Girl, Idris Elba is on! You missin' it!
{AS comes running back into room}
AS - Woooo!!!
AB - You better sit down, He ain't payin' no bills here.
AS - Neither is Beyonce.
AA - Debra Lee looks good.
AS - Sure does. Cute hairdo.
AB - Hey, wasn't your best friend supposed to be here tonight?
AS - Yeah, she double booked on us.
AB - Whoa, so wait a minute, we're The Backup Party?
AS - Mmm hmmm.
AB - Uhn uh. You know who you are, I am calling you out. You missed out on these grilled shrimp shawty! Standing MY party up...
10:43pm
AB - Dang, is this over yet? Bring on Weezy F. Baby and end this thing. Please. It's nearly 11pm.
10:35pm
AB - Oh, Eddie Levert dropped an S-bomb.
AOB - The censors were sleepin'.
AB - That's an FCC fine. BET is gonna go bankrupt before they pay that bill.
10:25pm
AB - Are Don Cornelius and Elgin Baylor twins? Put this man out of his misery. Cut the mic, please.
AA - This is sad.
AMB - Hey Don, wanna get away?
AB - Did the OJays have to clown Don?
10:15pm
AOB - Don Cornelius is out on parole.
AA - Hangin' in there after all these years.
AOB - He's struggling with the teleprompter.
AB - He's better than Trey Songz. And Obama.
AS - He's so old now.
ABL - He's takin' a toke here and there to get by.
AMB - That's a 70's suit.
{OJays tribute begins}
AB - The timing for this is a little off, all things considered.
AA - Little Tevin.
ABL - He looks the same.
AB - Looks good. Sounds good. No reason to hate.
{Tyrese, Trey Songz, and Johnny Gill come out to sing "Backstabbers"}
AB - 3 random Negroes.
ASL - Why does Johnny have a nose ring? He looks bad. Men don't do that.
AB - This is better than it looks on paper. They aren't half bad.
